I'll try and make this as short as I can without leaving anything important out!
DB is 43, I'm 35. We were both taken into care as children due to abusive home life but were separated, I went into long term foster care and he went into a series of short term placements, became a persistent runaway, and by 15 was a homeless street drinker. Using heroin by 17 and jailed for violent affray at 18. Came out of prison at 20 with nowhere to go, straight back on the streets, 10 more years of sleeping rough and heavy drink/drug use (but never been in trouble with police since). Then he met someone who offered him a the chance to rent a caravan at a commune in the countryside, with the condition that no illegal drugs were allowed. He moved in, claimed housing benefit to pay the rent, managed to get clean (but not stop drinking) and was encouraged by the Jobcentre to become self employed rather than sign on as unemployed. He set up as a gardener and has worked hard but as he doesn't drive (would be incapable of learning tbh for reasons I'll explain) it often takes him all day to travel by bus with all his tools to do a 3 hour job!
That was just over 10 years ago and he has been there ever since. He has his caravan with electricity and water, a patch of land where he grows veg etc. He has appallingly poor mental health and almost certainly ADHD and serever dyspraxia but because he cannot engage with professionals (due to trauma and paranoia) this has never been picked up on though he was diagnosed "hyperactive" as a child by a child psychiatrist (he remembers this but I don't know if there's any record of it officially). He has made at least 5 serious suicide attempts that I know of (one that's left him with permanent nerve damage to one hand). He bjnge drinks to cope with trauma or difficult circumstances. He loses and forgets everything (and I mean everything, it's unreal, eg he has to get a new bank card at least 3 times a year) which then makes things worse and complicates life to the point where he goes into shutdown. He gets so stressed by minor changes to routine or plans that he goes virtually mute and often has to just walk away from situations to avoid losing his shit and behaving in ways that aren't socially acceptable (shouting, throwing things etc which he works really hard to avoid doing but this does mean he needs to be able to just walk away when he needs to!). He breaks things and knocks things over constqntly. I often have to spend an hour at a time on the phone with him rehearsing how he will handle a hypothetical situation because he is so anxious about getting it wrong. He frequently misunderstands social cues and says/does completely the wrong thing which means people think hes an arsehole when he really isn't. Paperwork is his nemesis, he literally cannot cope with it, the other members of the commune help him with his tax return annually and with other stuff that comes up but he hates asking for help so just buries his head in the sand until it's at crisis point. Hes never held down a proper relationship, he says he just gave up on that years ago because he doesn't have the headspace to be present for anyone else, it takes everything he has got to hold together his own life.
He has now started to develop HAVS from working with power tools and his hands are losing strength. I've managed to get him to seek medical attention for this (which took over a year of persuasion and 3 missed appointments because he got so stressed by the idea) and he is awaiting some tests (unsure what, something about nerves?). GP had no advice beyond "stop using power tools" which isn't really possible. He also has a recurring back problem that immobilises him maybe 2-3 times a year for a week or so at a time and grumbles on and off the rest of the time. He's just coped with this for over a decade because of his inability to manage appointments etc. He has no computer skills and appalling numeracy, though he is literate and widely read. Zero qualifications.
Anyway the actual issue right now is Universal Credit. He's been migrated over after a decade muddling along ok with housing benefit and tax credits, and it's all going badly wrong. They've given him a 12 month start up for being self employed but he will NEVER manage to meet their expected earnings. He just can't. He is pretty much unemployable, he looks a shambles, he doesn't make a good first impression shall we say. Hes never claimed sickness benefits, he doesn't have a medical record to support a claim eith3r for reasons already explained. So he is in this grey area of being completely unable to fucntuon well enough to meet UC expectations but not having enough wrong with him to be exempted. He is falling into rent arrears already after just 4 months in UC and was already in a final warning from his landlord at the commune (partly for rent arrears, partly because of the way he has handled disputes with other residents) so if this isn't sorted he will lose his home and then tbh I think he would be dead in a year. I'm 30 miles away and a single parent so cannot help other than monthly visits and frequent calls/messages. I don't have spare room to put him up or spare money to help him out. On a good month he does meet the income they expect but that's rare - if his back goes or he has a MH wobble he is screwed for the month, and that happens about 2 in 3 months. He also is suffering more and more with the HAVS which often wakes him at night and leaves him struggling to use his hands after a long day at work. And then in winter nobody wants gardens doing so he just managed off his £35 or so a week tax credits and did the odd bit of casual work if it came his way. All that aside though he actually like working and says himself that he needs things to do, he wouldn't want to plead sickness to the point where he was deemed unable to work because he thinks that would make him worse. So it's a bit of a catch 22 really.
Moving is not an option - he genuinely needs the space and peace of where he is, a normal residential street wouldn't work for him, he is like an anxious rescue dog tbh. Also he wouldn't pass any financial checks for a private landlord anyway. Plus the commune does support him to some extent, the sense of community has been helpful and things like shared meals and people to help with paperwork have been lifesavers for him. But thats all the can offer, it's not supported housing and they're not experts, just people who care.
Has anyone got any advice for what he can do? Other than 'just get a proper job' because trust me that is not realistic. I'm scared he will just drop out of the system and go back on the streets, and honestly this would kill him.