Meeting someone online

[Changedname182]

I have met someone new online after a breakup in early December I don’t really know much about this person but they seem to be respectful and saying the right things I want to make sure I don’t get into another bad situation what should I look out for, what questions should I ask and what should I do? We want to meet up soon

Hello?

Make sure you have a Facetime (or similar) before meeting in person. I insisted on this after I met someone who looked 45 in his photo and was actually in his seventies when we met up. No one said no to a Facetime.

See how it goes, I think you'll have a better opinion of him after the date. Look forward to it but don't pin your hopes too much, honestly most people you meet online won't be suitable. Be honest with yourself if you both like each other great but if you don't and for any reason you think there's a red flag/not sure on him don't continue to date him, be selfish as it's important you don't get yourself in situation you regret from people pleasing.

Tbf, I'd say no to a facetime, never been photogenic and just as bad on video. Never met anyone older than they said. Men always looked pleasantly surprised when they saw me in person.
Red flags aren't obviously lying about appearance, that's too easy to suss on a meet. Red flags, pushing for sex on first date, talking a lot about ex's and being too nosy about your previous history, any signs of addiction- drugs or alcohol, or gambling. Talking about themselves all the time and having no interest in you, or being cagey if you ask things. Being estranged from family, or still living with parents. It's a lot of cutting out the extremes of either types of behaviour, look for the middle ground.
Oh and especially talking negatively about ex's - crazy ones.

Meet up as soon as. Coffee only to start with. Google him on social media. If you move on to evening dates have a date buddy that you tell where you are going and who with. Check in with them when you are home. Pay attention to how he talks about exes and children and family.

Let a family member or friend know exactly where you're meeting up for the first time.

agree a way of getting out of a date if you don't like how it's going. Eg get a friend to call you at a certain time and give them an update.

If all is well, you can just say thanks, can i call you back.

If it's going badly, say I'm on my way, and tell the date sorry I've got an emergency must go.

and of course you can leave a date any time you like, but if you find that hard to do, then the above gets you out of it if you need some help.

With a video chat, you can also get a sense of if you will like them in person or not, it’s not just to weed out people lying about their age. I met enough men who were fine when messaging whom I knew within 30
seconds of meeting I would never be interested in and that was with heavy screening, I didn’t just meet anyone. After I started doing the Facetimes, that never happened. Yes, I still met people that I wasn’t interested in but there was no instant “ick” that made the rest of the date awkward.

@Opentooffers

I’ve always refused to FaceTime as well and only once did someone get funny about it.

Ive got nothing to hide and like you been told I look better in person than in my photos but I just hate video calls and find them hideously awkward.

OP - I would just ask fur the first date/meet to be a simple daytime coffee or drink not dinner and just sit and chat in a relaxed place. Don’t interrogate them or bombard them with questions, just let things flow naturally.

And if after 1 coffee/drink you aren’t feeling it, then you can cut the date short.