Me and my partner have been together for 13 years and had 4 children together. We met when we were really young - 17.
I will start by saying he truly is my best friend , we have such a good laugh together and we have been through so much together (the passing of one of our children) and growing up together. I have communicated my needs clearly throughout the years as I have felt that everything that needs managed gets done by me.
He will do things when asked but will never do anything off his own back. If I ask him to help tidy up, or plan a dinner etc he will do it. He doesn’t have much aspiration for the future or even talk or think of future plans.
Which leaves me feeling responsible for both of ours and our kids futures.
I do earn more money than him so I will pay for majority of kids things. He will half in for birthdays and Christmas and big things. There is so much I feel is just expected of me and not of him.
I don’t care about anything materialistic or money related although I feel like over the years I have managed him and helped him become more a mature person and encouraged him in every way possible to be the best dad to our children. He hasn’t needed to do this with me.
for birthdays etc my partner will write me a lovely note inside my card and I do him, which I have always appreciated. Although besides this he is not romantic in any sort of way. I talk to him a lot about being more affectionate towards me or having more deep meaningful conversation but I never seem to get it,
I get jealous at the thought of some people having a relationship where their partner doesn’t need to be told what to do and just does it because they care. It would just be nice to be looked in my eyes and told what I mean to him or a little gesture which makes me feel special.
when I talk to him about all the above he says that I am right and he will start doing more of these things but it all just seems like words. I love him dearly but can’t help feel unfulfilled at times.