Ex wont leave me alone

[Bookbutterfly]

I left an abusive relationship permantly in Dec as had clare law disclosure etc. Ex messaged me several times over weeks and I ignored, blocked, changed number etc. I had not sent a single message since the split.

He's now emailing on what would have been our anniversary, telling me he loved being with me whilst also trying to blame me for everything. I just want him to leave me alone. I've told him to, I've flat out ignored and he just does what he wants.

Please anyone been in this situation?

Should add this is the first I've heard in six months and I was just starting to feel relieved it was done with.

If this is the first time in months, I’d ignore it.
sounds like he is getting bored and if you don’t react he may go away.

I feel for you. In a similar boat but have kids with him so can’t cut all contact, unfortunately.

Yeah, as PP says, don't give him any air time. Ignore him, don't send any response at all.
He sounds like he's trying to mess with your head, don't give him the satisfaction. Distract yourself with something nice for you.

Definitely fully ignore it. Block the email address as spam. He's trying to reignite fear in you. Just don't allow it. Youre free of him now.
My abuser/stalker tried to contact me out of the blue a couple of times years later, through my mum and FB. I was shocked but blanked it. They have no power over you anymore. Treat it like unknown caller, a call centre selling something you do not want to buy and have no interest in.
Well done for getting away from the scum bag.

I don't know whether "just ignore/block" is the best advice - depends on what the Clare's Law disclosure revealed? If he's got form for pursuing previous partners in a way that's threatening rather than just annoying (and surely it wouldn't have come up in the report if it were only the latter) it may take more than that to make him back off. I'm not saying leap to involving the police at this stage, but if it escalates and if it's in line with a previous pattern of behaviour it could be worth doing so.

Go to the police.

They will phone him and ask him to stop hassling you.

Then you can escalate if necessary.

Broadly, I agree with ignore and block. But depending on the level and type of abuse, it may be worth contacting the police for advice if you're worried about him staklking you or similar.

He's done this to other women over many years and been reported to police. Nothing ever happens though. I thought police would be best bet as he's clearly not going to stop whatever I do but he's gotten away with it so many times.

Go to police and explain he has form. They will be firmer with him. You may consider restraining order or non molestation order - ask them about that. Look up stalking charity (Suzy L trust) for advice xx

I would have thought that was harassment & the Police could have a word with him.

That "nothing ever happens" when incidents are reported to police does not necessarily mean that the police did not want to take action. If none of the other women felt able to take their complaint to court then it can be very difficult for the police to do much.

I never understood how people can’t just go no contact. It’s simple. Block him from everywhere and If he continues report him to the police.
Honestly…

Classic narcissistic hoovering. He's hoping that now your anger has calmed down you'll be more amenable, especially on an anniversary. Fuck that!

Block again.

Complain to the police about harassment and ask them to send a letter warning him to cease and desist. They can totally do that.

If he's threatened with legal action he'll back right off.