Partner of a headteacher

[Foodielot]

Hi, my partner is a headteacher at a secondary school. Often, they come home stressed and exhausted from the day. I'm unsure how I can support them because when I ask, they say they don't know. I've tried searching for support groups online that I could lean on, but it seems there aren't any available. Is there anybody here whose partner is also a headteacher?

I don’t have a partner who is a head but I am a teacher. My head teacher has just split with her third husband due to work pressure. She said it is a lonely job and she often meets with other heads to discuss work balance issues. I find teaching hard enough led alone anything higher!

I'm not a teacher but used to be a school governor. If the chair of governors and Head have a good relationship they can be a source of support. Some local authorities have school improvement partners that can be helpful. If your partner would prefer support more from a distance this organisation is one I recommended-

www.headsup4hts.co.uk/

Not a partner but I’ve worked in schools, I no longer do so, but the pressure is enormous, pay is t worth it, and you go home tapped out and worried about all sorts, don’t sleep etc.

He either needs space, or time to talk.

Am a governor and we are just discussing paying for professional wellbeing supervision/counselling for our head and safeguarding lead. They honestly (besides workload) deal with some truly awful stuff and having some time out to discuss that is beneficial (similarly to how psychotherapists have professional supervision)

I was a headteacher - the responsibility and the pressure is immense
However, it is important for your partner to get some help eg the suggestions already made or some counselling
There are so many things that can’t be shared or may sound small to someone who is not in the job but actually as a head you are constantly firefighting many things which are really beyond your control- and the Ofsted decide you haven’t down enough
I did 22 years and was totally knackered so left the job. For most heads when they meet the first question is ‘when are you getting out?’
something is very wrong with the education system at the moment

@MrsElijahMikaelson1 please do it - we are paying out of our own pocket for DH to have professional supervision and we couldn't find anyone with the right combination of skills so had to go with a more generic therapist type person. It's invaluable.

In terms of practical support I don't ask too many questions, do a lot of "acts of service" type things, keep the house ticking over and sort out our DCs (he can rarely do the school run or make any school events), make sure he doesn't forget to eat, keeps hydrated etc. Bring cups of tea down to the study while he works late every night. I know he spends all day talking talking talking in meetings and making decisions that could radically set a kid or teacher's life on a different path, so I don't expect him to talk in the evenings unless he needs to vent. Basically in term time it's pure supportive presence and listening ear, knowing he's venting and not needing solutions to problems and taking as many things off his plate as I can. We get the holidays to reconnect and we have an explicit role reversal where he is with the kids and taking all the practical stuff off my plate (ie. He doesn't just get to flop on holiday leaving me to still deal with all the housework!)

@Restinggoddess an option for a second career for former head teachers would be providing confidential professional supervision/counselling to current ones!!

We both resuscitate people for a living. We tell a family the person they love the most is dead or dying multiple times a week. We work weekends,nights, Christmas etc.

People who work stressful jobs are responsible for managing that stress. We both check in with a psychologist, and we both work a ‘take a breath and decompress’
period into our journey home from
work. We support each other with physical basics like food, clean clothes, coffees etc.