First, Endo is a bastard.
Here's some background: My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years, and I love her and believe she loves me too, we’re both a bit lost and unsure of what to do next. I’m reaching out to see if anyone has faced a similar situation and has any proactive ideas to help us improve things.
When we first got together, our love life was fantastic. After having a child, things naturally slowed down but eventually started to improve again. However, about five years ago, my wife began experiencing severe symptoms of endometriosis. I think the symptoms are now being managed "OK" but after undergoing surgeries, taking numerous medications, and dealing with exhaustion, she now hates the idea of sex, which I completely understand and if it were me, I'd probably feel the same way.
I’ve always had a high libido, and after years of being the one to initiate sex and facing constant rejection, it has taken a toll on me. I know it's not because she doesn't love me but it does still feel like it.
When we do, she doesn’t want to spend time on foreplay and just wants it to be over. She says she gets into it once we start, but the initial motivation is the lacking. She thinks forcing herself might help, though I’m not convinced this "fake it till you make it" strategy is the right approach.
I try to be proactive and understand the basics of getting in the mood. I know that setting the mood doesn’t start at bedtime, I handle most of the household chores since she’s often exhausted. We’ve also tried endometriosis-friendly positions etc.
Therefore, I’m seeking advice from those who’ve been in similar situations, not necessarily related to endometriosis:
- How do you cope with regular rejection?
- Have you found ways to lower your libido?
- Have you discovered methods to improve your libido, while on medicine that reduces it?
Our top priority is her well-being and managing her endometriosis symptoms. I’m just looking for any ideas that might help improve our situation without compromising her health.