I don't know how to behave in a relationship anymore

[Disappointedpumpkin]

I'm 51, divorced nearly 3 years (18 Yr marriage), have a 16 year old and a 19 year old. The divorce was on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour- domestic abuse but nothing physical. I have been in a new relationship 2 years now which is slowly falling apart and believe it's mostly down to me. I have issues with trusting him, i get jealous, we both keep in touch throughout the day but I'm hypersensitive in spotting anything that isn't quite right and questioning him on it. It's like I'm pushing him away as I'm expecting it to all go wrong. I'm not proud of myself for this at all - its shameful. I don't seem capable of having a relationship anymore, should I walk away and stay single as he is a nice guy and doesn't deserve this. Is there anywhere that I can learn how to have a healthy relationship?

First of all I think you need to be honest with your partner that you are aware of your issues, it’s nothing he’s done and you’ll be working through them in therapy.

And get therapy. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and future relationships.

Do you want to stay in the relationship? If you do why not research ways to improve the relationship? Another idea is to invest less in the relationship and have a varied life with work, hobbies, projects, friends etc etc so you aren't messaging him so intensively.

I think therapy would really help you. Right now it seems like you are working out the trauma you experienced with you ex husband on your current partner and that's not fair to him.