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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Performance anxiety in the bedroom. It's been so long. Help!

1 reply

debsontheweb · 13/05/2024 17:31

Guy I've been seeing has been my first relationship in almost 10 years. I suffered a lot of trauma and abuse in previous relationship. He knows all about this past stuff and has been incredibly supportive.
Been seeing him for a few months now and we've talked about how I'd feel about having sex again. I should stress that he didn't open or lead the conversation, nor has he been any way pushy with the issue.
Truth is, I'm feeling ready to give it a try but obviously this would be my first time in almost 10 years. Eek! We're going to lake district for a weekend later this month so thinking of asking him if he's like to do it then. Or am I best asking him in advance in case he needs time to prepare?
I'd love him to be the one I do it with as he's been so loving and we do love each other, just feel a bit rusty on what to do and so on. Don't want to be disappointing. Anyone been in similar situation where you leave abusive relationship and wait many years before being intimate with someone else?

OP posts:
Shiningout · 13/05/2024 17:34

I understand being a nervous but sex isn't supposed to be a performance op :) you don't need to pull out any porn star moves! Just talk before about it and make sure you're on the same page, you can take it slowly though and always change your mind if you feel like it at the time.

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