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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being too sensitive?

2 replies

flowertot19 · 13/05/2024 17:10

Every year I make an effort for my partner of 8 years birthday, balloons, cake, weekend away, the lot. I save up my money to do this, as he earns a lot more than me. I make it as special as possible. We have two children (5 & 2) and he covers majority of household bills whilst I look after the children and study to become a nurse. (I’ve put this in as I want to express he does a lot for me by paying the bills and covering most costs that we have)

My birthday last year I decided to go away with my friends for the weekend. Only a 2 hour car journey away. My birthday was the Friday, so I decided that I’d leave late on the Friday meaning I’d get to spend the day with my family first. He wasn’t pleased about me spending my birthday away, so I had no card, no gift on the Friday morning before he went off to work, not even a happy birthday (I was sleeping but a text would have been nice). I ended up really upset over this, my children had no idea it was my birthday and it ruined my weekend.

Fast forward to this year, and I’ve reminded him my birthday is this Sunday, and he’s informed me that he’s working all day 7-7. I just feel devastated that I make such a conscious effort to book time off work for his birthday to make it as special as possible, and in return I get nothing back. I feel so upset and deflated and don’t know if I’m being dramatic? he hasn’t always been this awful with my birthday, and for years he got me lovely gifts, but now, nothing.

He thinks I’m a horrible person for acting ‘spoilt’ about my birthday, but I’m genuinely just so upset

I lost my mother when I was 19 who made every birthday special for me, so it hurts that nobody really acknowledges it now.

Maybe I’m being far too sensitive?

Thank you for reading x

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 13/05/2024 17:20

Just stop making an effort for him. Honestly it’s the only way some people realise they are being selfish is when the behaviour is reflected back to them.

Catlover1705 · 13/05/2024 17:22

It sounds like he's still miffed about you going away last year and is holding a grudge.

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