This could end up being a long one so apologies in advance.
My Dad came over yesterday for Sunday dinner. We do this maybe once or twice a month; he and my sibling will come to mine and either me or sibling will cook dinner and Dad will do the dishes. He’d been to the pub for a few hours when he turned up and I could tell he was in a funny mood but tried to ignore it so as not to create an atmosphere.
After clearing his plate, he moaned that he didn’t enjoy it and off he went to do the dishes. He came back through 5-10 mins later raging saying the amount of dishes was fucking ridiculous, what the fuck and can he get a fucking break. For context, I clean as I go as much as possible and anything that’s left I rinse and stack nicely. They were not “fucking ridiculous”. I calmly said leave it and I’ll do them then to which he said no he’d do them and slammed the door as hard as he could.
He came back more calmly once they’d been done and asked did we agree I’d used far too many pots and pans, etc. We were still taken aback by his initial outburst and had sat in silence until that point. I told him that I’d offered to do them and he refused and that there was absolutely no need for swearing and slamming doors and his general aggression. He just scowled, rolled his eyes dismissively and left but he’ll pop round later as if nothing’s happened because he’s one of those people who can never say sorry or admit they’re wrong, ever.
A few months ago, he started rampaging around my kitchen - banging loudly and leaving this strewn about while making a sandwich because my sibling was still cooking when he arrived.
I feel so stupid but I spent the night crying because it took me right back to my childhood when his angry outbursts were much worse and more frequent. There’s a whole backstory but I’ve rambled for long enough.
He has a lot of good points despite this, but I can’t cope with another outburst or feeling like I need to walk on eggshells because he can’t express his anger in a healthy way. I don’t even know why I’m posting really, maybe just confirm that this isn’t normal behaviour and I’m not overreacting.