Sharing journals

[Faithingrass]

My sister who lives abroad has been through a rough time and she stayed with me for a weekend last year and left her journals behind and told me to do whatever I wanted with them. I felt weird having them, I didn’t want to read them, I didn’t want anyone else to read them - so we put them in the attic.

She’s just left after another weekend and she wanted to give me three more journals - I asked her why she was giving me her journals and she took them back and wouldn’t discuss it, she asked that I posted back her other journals- it was a mistake to give them to me and left. I don’t really understand - I felt uncomfortable having access to someone’s diaries, I feel very confused and upset by her response. She is very strong willed and doesn’t like being challenged (although she wouldn’t recognise that in herself) Was I wrong to ask why? Have I let her down in some way?

I don't think you were wrong at all. But it sounds like she has a lot she wants to indirectly communicate to you by leaving the journals with you. So perhaps she took your "why?" as a rejection (which is was really- as you're naturally quite uncomfortable with being left the journals). Could you talk to her about it again? Say you would be honoured to keep the journals if she'd like you to have them but you want to be clear on what she'd like you to do with them?

I talk to her about how she feels all the time. I really don’t like having them. I’d like to burn them - she said I could but now she wants them back which just feels like the head fuck I was expecting to be delivered by holding onto some else’s very personal property.

I feel all our encounters are very one sided, do I struggle to breathe around her - she frequently over steps my boundaries, if I remind her she makes me feel unreasonable.