Should I be upset my husband did this?

[flyingbeet]

I am pregnant so I could be overdramatic but yesterday I made some food for my husband and gave it to him while he was playing playstation. He told me that it could do with a bit more salt. I don't mind critique. In fact I always ask for it. Problem was that he had his mic on while playing playstation and all his friends and his cousin could hear this conversation. My husband went to get some salt and I assume one of his friends on the other end said something along the lines of "is the food bad?". I could hear but I just heard my husband say "it's nice, it could just do with more salt. I just felt a little upset and I don't know if I'm making a big deal

It could be that it's not every night he eats at the gaming station.

Maybe OP was eating hers in front of a Netflix thing that he's not interested in.

At least he's used to being up half the night and being tired the next day because there will be a lot of that after the baby arrives😀😀

The big deal is him expecting his pregnant partner to wait on him and serve his meals to him.
He isn't her lord and master. If he wants to eat his meals whilst gaming, like a teenager, he should make his food himself.
Also very ignorant to draw into other people into what should have been a private conversation in their home.

Exactly where in the post does it say he's expecting his pregant partner to wait on him and serve his meals to him? Perhaps they take it turns...

She's pregnant, not disabled. It doesn't suddenly stop you from being able to function like a normal human being.

My husband brings me meals 😵The poor degraded man, imagine!!

Is he 12? Having a meal brought up him whilst playing. Grown men gaming and expecting that level of pampering. FFS.

My dh, eldest dd and ds games and I think that’s rude as fuck actually. My family have some standards

We’re a family of gamers and it would be a cold day in hell before I let my pregnant wife serve me food while I was sat in front of the console OR the telly. And there’d be hell to pay if even my children did this. We have manners thanks. If wife’s cooking then I’d be keeping an eye on dishing up time and getting the cutlery and condiments and laying the table. No wonder some children can’t behave anymore with role models like these

Quoted the right person but wrong comment. No it is acceptable for your pregnant wife to have to serve you whilst you’re online gaming with your mates, how unattractive to be shovelling food in your face in front of the x box that your wife has lovingly prepared for you. And then to complain about it

I’m the gamer in the family and I also make the meals. When dinner is ready I turn off my ps and take the time to eat with them to show that I do actually give a fuck about them

When dinners ready my oh puts his games away as hes a grown up. We teach our children to do the same so they can learn how to show respect and decency to their partners

My 7yo has better manners

Pregnancy is not an illness, I really can't stand woman who thinks absolutely everything should be done for them because they are pregnant.

I didn't expect this many responses. And a lot of them were more focused on the relationship between my husband and I. Thanks to everyone who got back to me on the salt issue. I guess I've been a bit more emotional lately. And with the other comments on the dynamic between my husband and I, I guess I don't need to justify myself to anyone, but please don't assume you know about our whole relationship from a small post. He does 80% of the cooking, cleaning and getting me anything that I need. I also did not specify how often he games. I see no harm in him playing a game or two every now and then because he knows and I know that we're caught up with any tasks we needed to get done and I get a chance to catch up on my hobbies. Yesterday was Sunday. We cleaned the house (mostly him), we had breakfast and lunch together, went for a walk. Spent a lot of time together and decided in the evening that I would continue reading my book and he could play since he goes back to work tomorrow and won't get a chance to. He got hungry, I wasn't and I decided to get him some food. He never asked but just because when you're in a relationship you like doing nice things for each other. Point is that every relationship is different. Everyone has different needs and a different way of doing things. Like for us we always prioritise having lunch at the same time instead of dinner and we're both happy with that

To add on he told me he was grateful for me making him food and that he liked it.

I don't mind critique. In fact I always ask for it Stop this, just stop. Why would you invite criticism, you're not his staff ffs, you don't need a performance review. If you ask for criticism don't be surprised if you get it.

He did fetch it himself.

I think she meant why didn’t he fetch it himself without complaining first. The op was upset about it but seems to be backtracking saying how not upsetting it is now. First it wasn’t ok and now it’s is and she’s upset people are agreeing he was out of order. I’m not sure what she wants from the thread

Honestly. If you get strung up about this then good luck having a baby and navigating parenting challenges together .

@LateButNotTooLate If you don't ever want to hear any constructive criticism especially from someone who is as close as your spouse then that leaves you being stubborn and thinking everything you do is good and you don't have anything to improve. I cook food and I would definitely ask my husband or my mum 'Hey do you like it?' Is there anything else that may improve this dish. And when I get feedback and make the dish a second time I improve and become a better cook. I think you missed the point of the post. There's a difference between receiving feedback in private Vs in public with other people listening.

@Babadook76 Most people are agreeing that he wasn't out of order for the salt issue, which is what this post was about. A lot of people are trying to say he was out of order for either gaming or not making me food or eating with me etc. Which is irrelevant

Why is it an issue?

Why?

When I cook (especially something new) I always ask how it was and welcome people saying too salty/too spicy/bit bland etc. so that when I make again I can make it better

Ah op you know I can sort of see why that pissed you off a bit but it doesn't sound like he was being critical per se, just that whatever it was needed a bit more salt. Tbf when I was pg all DP had to do was look at me in what I perceived to be a funny way and I'd either fly off the handle in rage or want to curl in a ball and cry because he clearly felt I was disgusting. It was always just his unfortunate resting arse face.

Funnily enough I'm like that now but thanks to perimenopause hormones 😬

Gaming while eating, meh, advantage of being an adult is you can do stuff like that 😃

I think you did overreact, which is quite understandable with pregnancy hormones, and your updates show the relationship is generally good.

However, I’d say now is the time to make sure your DH understands that there will be much less time for gaming when the baby is here, and if you’re looking after the baby while he’s gaming he shouldn’t expect food brought to him as well! Also, that looking after the baby doesn’t mean gaming while ignoring the baby in a bouncy chair, for example.

My DH used to game quite a bit, but had to drop it completely in those first few months and only had limited time for the following few years. Now he and DD play games together, which is fun for both of them.

As long as he went and got his own salt, then no problem!

Nip the bringing him his dinner while he is playing in the bud. You are going to have a baby soon and don't need to be doing that!!

I don't get how so many people don't see an issue in someone eating a homemade meal their partner made in front of a video game with other people.

I find it so disrespectful, regardless of whether they were handed their plate or if they made it themselves.

Watching TV together while eating in the living room is one thing, playing a game while speaking to online friends with headphones on is another.

Its horrible. I had to have big talks with my teenagers about it. Id be fucked off even more if it was my husband