My ex and I split a few months ago - it had been a long time coming, but the end was quite quick. No infidelity or anything very dramatic on either side: I just realised I'd hit my limit and it wasn't recoverable. Friends had been telling me to leave for quite a while and I don't regret it at all. My ex and I have our DD 50% of the time each. DD is the best thing that ever happened in my life and I keep feeling horribly worried I am not enough for her/that I can't be a good enough mum.
Here's where it gets complicated. My ex is my DD (7)'s biological mother. I was the main carer from when DD was a few months old, until she went to school. We had always agreed we would be equal parents, but a constant battleground was that I felt DP often assumed the lion's share of the 'fun' stuff and tended to crowd me out of things I would have liked to do. It was a constant irritation in our relationship, and though it's not why we split up, it certainly didn't help.
My issue now is that I feel as if I can't shake off feeling as if I must be the boring parent. I know DD often has a good time with me, but whenever she is bored or unhappy, I feel the guilt creeping up. And, I am sometimes too tired or stressed to play as much as I wish I could/as much as she might like (I work a lot of hours). I am really conflicted - I know all the truisms people say ('life is short! You'll regret the time you didn't spend with her!' versus 'it's good for a child to learn to amuse themselves'). I feel as if, however much I do with her, and however varied and fun the things are that we do, it's always a tightrope until the next time I have to say 'no, we can't do x' or 'no, I don't want to play such-and-such again'.
My question is: is this familiar to other newly-single parents?