Boyfriend of 6 months just dumped me - devastated

[Banana1979]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months , i am 45 he is 43
we had a lovely evening together last night , we did have sex, he was very loving and caring , held my hand ect all night whilst asleep
he left this morning and dumped me my text an hour later

it was only after I called him a coward for doing it by text that he called me he said
said we were incompatible- he smokes , i don’t , i complained last night that he was smoking in my house and asked him
to smoke outside. I also said I was bored as all we ever do is go to each others houses - he has never taken me out as he is not working at present . this irked him as he likes to stay in watch foot ball and films all day
he sounds like a bum I know , and I know I’m being ridiculous getting upset over a 6 month relationship with man who doesn’t work and smokes and watches tv all day, but I feel utterly alone
he said he wants to stay friends
wat hurt me is that he could have ended the relationship last night when he came to my home, but instead he behaved like everything is okay
prior to this relationship I have been single 2 years , before that I was in a 13 year extremely abusive relationship with my daughters dad
I don’t understand why im
upset over this man who I know wasn’t right for me , we used to speak every day all day now I feel utterly alone like a washed up 45 yo single mum with questionable taste in men and I’m beating myself up as to how I’ve allowed a bum to be in my life just because I’m lonely and fall for him at that and I’m thinking I’ll never meet someone decent who will love me. I’m sick of my life and feeling lonley . My DD is 9 and often plays with the kids next door after school as she is lonley
I just feel such a failure

He's doing you a favour by showing what a loser he is.

He's decied to end things, but decides to have a meal and sex then tell you by text.
He takes money off you (after he ended things??)
He wants you to be 'exclusive' while not being in a relationship. What does that even mean? I suggest he means that he wants you to be available for sex wheneber he wants it, but not to expect any commitment or effort or anything else indeeed from him.

You are so well rid of him. You deserve so much better than him.

And don't worry about your DD. I was for a while a single parent to one child. They used to play with the next door neighbour loads but I never saw it as a sad thing or because they were lonely. Next day had 3 children and they NEVER played with each other. In any case, being an only child doesn't have to be a lonely place. IME there's no correlation between loneliness and whether you have siblings (actually, scratch that, only children tend to be better at entertaining themselves and therefore more resourceful and happier in their own company).

This!

Work on your self esteem.

You are a good person. You are enough. You deserve a good relationship with a man who makes you happy. And who takes you out on dates!!

Regardless of whether this person is the one or not, don't feel bad about feeling sad for a short relationship ending.
You are feeling those feelings because you cared and there's nothing to be ashamed of. Relationship endings are really tough, despite their duration! Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel sad. It's normal. It won't always feel this way ❤️

OP it would seem that the trash has taken itself out.

Smoking in your house when you don't like it, shagging then dumping by text, watches TV all day and doesn't work.

You aren't a failure at all. I bet your dd loves you, and she can have all of your attention.

Loneliness can be awful at times but it is better than being permanently landed with a man who is really just an unemployed smoker that never wants to go out or do anything! Don't think about how lonely you are - think you had a lucky escape!