Difficult relationship with sister and custody

[Ilivetosleep]

I'm not sure this is the right place to post and I'm pretty new on MN. So here goes. I have had custody of my neice since she was a baby. Sister and her husband had a myriad of issues which I don't want to go into too. I was really worried about their ability to care for the baby. So I offered. They agreed and we made a private court arrangement. I adore my niece. I have 4 children and she's loads younger then them and they all spoil her and she loves them. But the issue is sister is a feeder. My sister is obese and when she takes my niece out she forces her to eat so much and the poor child is so sick for days afterwards. Today we went to a family BBQ & she piled her plate so high with chicken wings, potato salad and bread I thought she was going to choke.

My niece is 6.I know my sister loves her and mises her. But she can't look after her and I'm trying to instill some healthy habits with her including regular sports etc.

Has anyone any advice on how to navigate this?

If its only periodic I would not make a big deal of it. Focus on healthy eating at home. Teach her to be comfortable saying she is full and doesn't have to clear her plate to only eat what she wants.

Thanks. That's what I do..but she does see her a lot throughout her week. We only live a few streets apart. She does most school pick ups. It's more how I navigate speaking to my sister.

Tell your sister to not over feed her. Also tell your niece that it’s ok to say ‘no’.

If it carries on then pull back on contact. It’s hard but the health of your niece is the priority not whether your sister is feeling guilty for giving up custody.

Tell your sister you’re trying to establish healthy eating habits, and that includes portion control and not eating unhealthy snacks. And ensure that your niece knows that when she goes out with your sister, she doesn’t have to eat everything she’s given - it’s OK to leave food if you’ve had enough. (I don’t know whether you would be able to have a conversation with your sister about whether she likes being the size she is, and whether she’d want that for your niece - I can quite see it would be a difficult subject to broach, but as a rounder person myself, I know I would rather be slimmer, and in my experience, so would all of my less than svelte friends.)

Thanks.

Your nieces health is at risk.
You need a serious talk with your sister. This excessive eating/pushing food on DN stops now.