Coffee friends or more

[john1978]

I am after some advice I am 43 year old single Dad and solo parenting, I have been single for years because of brining up my two kids. Mum passed when they were little. I am now looking to date again.

I have been chatting to someone local on a local history facebook site for about a year, it started as the odd comment, to messaging on facebook, out the blue she shared her phone number with me. We have been messaging most days, I always assumed she was married but, in the conversation it came up she is divorced, without me asking she said she is in a casual relationship with someone and exploring.

Before she mentioned this we have agreed to go for a walk and coffee as we have so many shared interests. The more I get to know her the more attracted I am to her, but likewise I think we could be amazing friends which I dint want to spoil.

If I feel the same meeting her. Should I tell her over coffee or anotherway, she said she is seeing someone casually basically FWB, I don;t judge that but its not for me and I dont know if she would be interested in me and a relationship,

If you haven't actually met her in person yet, then you're massively over-thinking and over-investing in words on a screen.

Meet for a walk and a coffee.

If you get on in person, ask her out.

I think you're massively overthinking this.

What makes you thinks he wants to be FWB with you?

at the end of coffee? or wait a bit? so out of touch

Don't ask her until she is making clear signals that it's what she wants.

You'll look a fool to ask her / tell her your pov if she is just looking for a friendship.

Chill out a bit, it's no big deal.

At the end of the coffee and walk, if you feel you got on and she seems to have enjoyed your company as well, no harm in saying something like "it'd be good to do this again" and take it from there. Probably nothing fixed at the time so not too much pressure, more that you'll message her about meeting up again. Follow up with a message firming things up within a day or two.

If you are mostly interested in her as a potential girlfriend, don't fool yourself that friendship will do, cos that way things get awkward.

This.

It may be that she's casually seeing someone for company, sex and to pass the time but is open to actually meeting someone for a relationship. Although, there is no guarantee that would be you, obviously.

It's also possible that she isn't interested I a relationship but is happy to have a few fwbs. She might be thinking that of you.

It might be that she is happy with her causal relationship amd sees you as someone she could be friends with.

At the moment, you're both just words on a screen to each other and it means nothing.

Don't overthink or overinvest. Don't accept less than you want in the hope it will become more (it usually doesn't). Just enjoy getting to know her in real life and take it from there.

Neither of you know if you would be interested in each other and want a relationship until you, you know, actually meet...