Remind me, please, it's OK to leave someone, anyone, for any reason

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

He's been texting a friend saying flirty things. We've been together 5 years. Not married. No kids. He's done this before, and despite us having talked it through then, he's done it again. I don't think it appropriate or fair on me. We are both early 50s.

Yes, a relationship has to add no to subtract.

It’s ok to leave for any reason. This seems like a very valid one to me.

Thanks for the supportive replies. He certainly does / did add to my life, but I have had to do a fuckload for him. I think I want me and my life back.

Because you want to is the one and only reason. Whatever is behind that decision. You don’t have to justify it. There is no judge or jury.

Remind me, please, it's OK to leave someone, anyone, for any reason

Here is your reminder that It's OK to leave someone, anyone, for any reason
You want you and your life back. Pretty good reason in my book.

There doesn't have to be a big awful relationship crime he has committed - it can just be "I don't want this any more".

Yes, that’s a truly excellent, sane reason to end things. Go for it, OP.

It’s understandable that you feel this way, especially when you have previously attempted to talk it through. It looks like flirting with others is part of his natural personality that he cannot or is not willing to suppress, whereas you would like more fidelity on that front.

Of course you can end it. I don't get the throwaway "but I have had to do a fuckload for him" ... did you really have to do anything for him that wasn't your choice?

yeah you can leave for no reason at all too.

I would not feel loved or wanted if my partner was sending flirty texts, he is clearly fishing for something. Go with dignity, men like this normally try and hoover you in at the last minute as you are leaving, and are good at it.

So try not to listen to his words, it will probably be mundane stuff about him and some lame justifications as to why he is texting someone else. Look at his actions, they are a clear indicator how he feels about you. He knows your worth but probably hoping you dont.

He's already tried to justify his texting. It was textbook stuff.

You are not beholden to this man. You can leave whenever you want to. Getting your life back is a great reason (not that you need one). There's nothing wrong with being single, in fact, I can recommend it.

Just say something like "well, it doesn't really matter either way, I'm not going to argue the toss with you - it's just opened my eyes up to the fact I don't want this relationship any more". If that's how you feel.

He doesn't have to be guilty of something (although it sounds like he is).

It’s okay to leave for any reason or no reason. In your case, you have a good reason.

Go forth and take your life back OP.

You don't need this crap.

Of course you can leave for any or NO reason. You have said you want your life back - so take it! You just have to give yourself permission to leave? What is holding you back - e.g. fear of loneliness, people pleaser?

It's ok to just want to be happy and have peace of mind. You deserve that as much as anyone else.

He could be Mr Perfect and it wouldn’t be wrong for you to end the relationship. I would be devastated to find out someone felt they were only with me because I hadn’t done anything super bad. That’s not love. That’s a sentence. He deserves to grow and find love as you do, as we all do.

I’m wondering if one of your caregivers modelled taking care of someone as a way of avoiding conflict or putting up with sub standards in those closest to them?

Definitely leave him. Life is too short.

He’s in his 50s? Good grief. Move on, he’s never going to change.

He sounds grim.

Even at 50 having found a nice woman he's still trying his luck. With friends (of yours!?) too.

Thanks, Everyone. I do know I'm free to do as I need or want to for myself. I probably just need a bit of hand holding because I'm about to finalise matters very soon. I already feel a sense of relief at having made my decision.

this is a good reason to end it, he wont change

You've just said it and nailed it. BTW, why are you doing a 'fuckload for him'? What's that about? Do a fuck load for you and look for a more balanced relationship and one where a man in his 50s isn't acting like a teenager?

You sound like a strong woman ❤️, great decision to LTB (I’ve never used that before but I think he deserves it!).

Good luck for the rest of your blissful life without the leech xx