I have been with my partner for 10 years. We are very happy together, in love and excited to build a future together with plans to get engaged soon. When drinking, he has always taken it too far. For the first few years of our relationship, we were in uni and it wasn’t a big deal. There was a period in uni where he went through a tough time and I discovered that he had been smoking weed daily for months in secret. We almost broke up. He started counselling and successfully stopped. We lived abroad together for two years. On two occasions he came home too drunk from events, but other than that we had no issues. We could share wine on the weekend etc. When we returned to our home country to pursue Masters we each moved in with our respective families to save money. A few months in, he got into a drunk fight. He admitted it to me, was more upset than I’ve ever seen and vowed to quit drinking and return to counselling. A year and half later, I discovered that for 8 months he had been drinking spirits in his bedroom in secret. He said it was because he was struggling with his Masters, and hated living at home with his parents again and couldn’t cope. We almost broke up, I felt so betrayed that he had hidden this from me and made such poor choices. After a month he said he had started anti-depressants and began seeing a new counsellor. I gave him another chance. For 9 months he did well, I thought everything was going well. He finished his Masters and got his own place. On one occasion, he slipped up and I caught him out. I wasn’t angry instead reminded him that he can come to me for support and urged him to reach out to his counsellor which he did. Then a few months later, I caught him drunk and he admitted he had stopped taking his anti depressants cold turkey as he had an issue with his prescription and thought he no longer needed them. He lied and pretended he was still taking them to me. This baffled me as it was his choice to start them. 10 days later he began drinking spirits alone in secret again for a month. He has since started back on antidepressants and is looking into AA. This is good, but I am certain that if he had not been caught he would’ve continued drinking and lying. Although he apologised profusely. He said that he did not think of how the lie would affect me and was not planning on coming clean before proposing to me this summer. I am contemplating walking away but it is so hard when our relationship is otherwise very happy. He is the only relationship I’ve ever had.