Partner doesn't want baby we planned

[MissDemDem]

Hi I'll keep this short as I can and please be kind

I have children (teen and 6 years)
My partner has no children

My partner still has his own house as it's a mortgage and he said he didn't want to sell just yet as he wanted to make as much as he could on it. We then planned to rent his house out and live at my house as we wanted a family together and he wanted to be a dad.

I'm pregnant now as it was all planned out.

He loves me children and they love him and I thought me and him were perfect.
I'm 10 weeks. All my family know and are happy for us etc. the kids are excited.

Recently he's been quite cold. He's been staying at his own house loads more which he never usually did. And says "let me know if you need anything" it's just weird.

Today, he's said... why would you think I'd get rid of my house yet and live with you???? And he's told me the baby is a curse as it's ruined us and that I wanted the baby more than he did.

I'm utterly broken. I cannot comprehend what I've heard. I can't help but think the reality has hit him of having his own child and he's freaked out. Either way I'm gutted and I can't forgive what he's said to me. Last week he told me how excited he is. I'm confused.

I've blocked him. I'm a very strong woman and I won't accept that kind of thing.
Yes I've been emotional and poorly (tearful) but it's my hormones. I haven't asked him to do a thing so far. I just don't understand xx

I know exactly what I'd be doing at this point.
You have done the right thing to block him you dont need people like him in your life.
How do you feel about raising a baby on your own?
Because even if you part you will always be somehow connected to this low life of a man because you have a baby together.

I'd never speak to him again. What he's said to you is unforgivable.

You need to think very, very carefully if having this baby is the right thing to do for you and your kids, and that you'll be tied to this man for years and years to come.

I agree it's unforgivable. I'm that shocked I can't even cry yet.
I can't have an abortion the kids are excited etc. I know we'll be ok
I've done it alone before I'm strong.

If he came back sorry which he probably will, I wouldn't even give him the time of day.
Of course we've had disagreements before as all couples do & said silly things we both don't mean. That's life. You learn & grow.

But what he's said today is the nail in the coffin for me

Exactly this happened to me, except my ex asked me to abort and then we could reconsider a relationship.

I had my baby on my own, almost 26 years ago now.
Ex has never seen ds, no interest at all from the dad. Ex instigated having a child at the time, was really excited, then at week 7 he became cold and withdrawn.

I learnt from his best friend 9 years ago that ex had another woman on the go, she got pregnant and ex chose her. I had no idea, was happy in my little love bubble at the time expecting our baby.

I am not saying that is what your now ex did, but perhaps saying there is life after such scum.

Congratulations and well done for blocking him.

It takes two to tango so what the hell did he think was going to happen and why is he so angry about it.

What an awful thing to happen, it’s totally without motive … why would he encourage you to conceive his child, his own flesh and blood, and then turn his back?

It makes no sense. I cannot understand anyone doing this. Wishing you well and strong.

MN will hate me for this but if it was me i would have an abortion and move on and make the best of my life with my 2 children.
And have a coil fitted so this wont happen again.
No comebacks from him no ties to him.
Done dusted over with end of.
But i wish you all the best with what you do.
And keep him blocked he sounds awful and you have had a lucky escape.

You could always say you miscarried to the kids.

If you want to continue the pregnancy, then that's one thing, but if not, you really need to make the right decision for yourself.

Sending hugs.

The relationship is going to be broken now unless he is having serious anxiety issues and you can work through them.

Sorry op it does sound like he has another woman on the go and sees the baby as he put it a curse that could spoil things with other woman, that's how I read it anyway.

@category12 i think I agree with this. But… Such a horrible choice to have to consider, when you’re in shock about your happy-ever-after family going all wrong.

Its so cruel, and tragic, and unnecessary. I honestly think this is one of the most gutting OPs I’ve read on MN in years.

Thanks guys. And yes me too.
He's changed so much in a short space of time. And always staying at home. I'm not gonna waste my time catching him out I'm gonna focus on myself and the kids and the one on the way xxx

I hope his going to pay for the child. That is just awful

I dont hate you - I would do the same

OP can abort if she wants to, no judgement - otherwise she will be tied to this arsehole for the rest of her life

@timewach I totally agree with you.

I’d be ringing the clinic and telling him to shove off for good.

He’s showing you who he is.

You have seen his true colours

Wow op that's awful

I'm glad your a strong willed woman

Focus on you your children and this baby if you choose to continue, it's deplorable what he's done absolute deal breaker for me and you by the sounds of it

He may give his head a wobble but will it ever be the same knowing he's said and done these things when your pregnant!!

Thanks guys.... I forgot to mention he said "you are not the centre of my universe" honestly he's turned into a monster. I've had a cry abs brushed myself off xxxxx