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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Truly awful ex threatening court

2 replies

Willow71 · 10/05/2024 10:12

Hi everyone, I’m in need of some advice, I’m still trying to process all that I’ve been through, I would like a little outside input as I’ve been isolated for a little while now. I was unfortunate enough to spend 3 years with, we share DD almost 2. Although I have solely looked after her by myself as he was always off doing whatever he wanted, which I later found out was heroin, twice he was addicted and I had no idea!(imagine how silly I feel as I’m dead against this stuff) He was very controlling, manipulative, my DS from previous relationship are witnesses to this. He spat in my face, slapped me all kinds of abusive behaviours, isolating me from friends and family. Constant gaslighting making me question my own reality. It’s important to note that after the violence he had moved out and I never let him move back in, obviously, I tried to keep him at arms length to protect the emotional safety of my children as I’ve been through something similar before, but still let him see DD, although he never made any real effort with her, she barely knows who he is and is unbothered by his presence. There is so much more to all of this, too much to write! Anyway, the straw that broke the camels back came when he had me believe I was having paid therapy sessions, paid for by him, with an ‘nhs’ registered psychotherapist. I still have a text and voicemail from this woman claiming to be a doctor. I fell for it hook line and sinker, and was having ‘therapy’ sessions with a woman over the phone. I later miraculously discovered that this woman is infact no kind of doctor, she’s a well known drug user in the next town and I wouldn’t want her anywhere near precious DD. She put on a good act and was asking me all kinds of questions. This has to be some sort of crime? She was asking questions about my past, my father who I have no contact with, offering to change my DD bum if I was uncomfortable with X doing it?! Since this I have blocked him on everything and refuse to have contact. I appreciate how crazy this all sounds and he is now threatening with court? If I do not comply he will ‘enforce his rights’ as a father? I feel I’ve been through too much and mine and my daughters emotional(at least) safety is massively at risk. and I must stand my ground and keep him away from us. Luckily I think he’s moved to the other end of the country otherwise I wouldn’t feel safe physically either as he has threatened my life before. What do I do?

OP posts:
solice84 · 10/05/2024 10:24

He may threaten it but chances are he won't go through with it
Court will cost thousands and he'll only be doing it to piss you off
Keep him blocked
If you get anything official alluding to court then speak to a solicitor
Most offer 30 mins free consultations

Justcallmebebes · 10/05/2024 10:24

If he's moved to the other end of the country, keep him blocked and ignore him. They are empty threats

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