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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Verbal abuse off babys dad

1 reply

polosmum26 · 09/05/2024 23:24

I’m looking for somewhere to get a little support tonight, as I’m feeling incredibly burnt out.

My ex partner & I share a DS, we get on for a few weeks at a time but the minute I don’t agree with him I am accused of being a controlling manipulating narcissist.

I would like to take my child abroad, ex has told me that women are too vulnerable to take children abroad by themselves. I offered him to come, I would pay & he agreed. In return for this agreement he would cut down his overnights with our child from two to one.

We came in to a discussion about future partners & how long we would wait before introducing them to our child, I said a year & he said no other man would be involved in his sons life until he was five. I disagreed, and he told me I was disgusting, vile, a selfish c*nt & my version of reality is insane. He has told me we are no longer allowed the holiday which means a lengthy and costly court order.

Since this happened around two weeks ago each time I’ve seen him he has verbally abused me infront of our child, calling me a skank, a tramp a demonic demon. He causes me to get upset, and as much as I try not to react, I do, I don’t call him names ever, but I tell him to get lost and as my voice is raised my son gets scared. This truly breaks my heart.

He bent down so he was eye contact with my son & said to him, mum wants to introduce you to new men, she ruined mine & her relationship & now she’s trying to ruin ours. It is twisted and I can’t stand it!

We don’t have a third party we can involve for handovers.

I am so scared my son will grow up thinking this behaviour is normal, it’s so toxic!!!

What can I do? Should I stop my son seeing him until he gets a court order saying when where & how often he sees him?

Im so drained, I feel like im being bullied & my life is being controlled like a puppet on a string.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 09/05/2024 23:30

Residential parents can take their child out of the country for 28 days without the other parents consent.

I wouldn't bother discussing anything with him, he clearly doesn't want to 'co'parent so discussing hypothetical partners is just likely to rile him up. Communicate bare essentials, contact arrangements, medications and non-routine illnesses or injuries, keep a specific form of communication for this s you can look at it at strategic times and not be bombarded with random texts during the day when you are going about your life.

Court was quite happy for DD to not start overnights until she was 4 years old and before that we used a contact centre to stand as 'middle' man for handovers.

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