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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Thoughts please?

10 replies

dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:01

Hi,
Just looking for input and thoughts regarding relationship problems, specifically mutual respect and boundary overstepping.

Partner is typically immature in many ways, cannot problem solve without lashing out, blaming everyone but himself for issues he inevitably creates! etc. happy to demand how he should be treated, but seemingly unable to grasp the fact that it works mutually in a relationship.

In the past he has disrespected me by making it obvious he is taking an obvious interest in other females when we are out ( already had to raise this issue twice and still it continues)

He can also be aggressive out on the roads when in the car,After a particularly nasty encounter with another driver, I requested this behavior stop as it made me feel unsafe and frightened me. It did stop for a while, but slowly crept back in again, it is a constant stream of abuse for other road users, for the slightest misdemeanor they may have done...this happened again a short while ago which resulted in us nearly running into the back of another car because he was too busy waving his arms about and not looking where he was going, scared me to death as I am nervous in the car anyway.

How the hell do you deal with this shit, I have totally had enough of it...

OP posts:
ILikePistachios · 09/05/2024 21:04

Why haven't you left him?

dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:09

ILikePistachios · 09/05/2024 21:04

Why haven't you left him?

Why haven't I left him for now should be the question.....

OP posts:
MillshakePickle · 09/05/2024 21:10

If he's not respecting you or listening and is unwilling to change or see where he is genuinely at fault, being reckless and scaring you is the any point?

You've tried. You either have to accept this is who he is, and it may get worse with time, or it'd time you call time on the relationship.

If you choose to accept it, can you live with it? How will it affect you long term? Will you feel confident and comfortable with him driving kids in the back, for example?

Personally, I'm not strong enough to deal with this type of false macho bravado bullshit that some men may develop behind the wheel. It honestly, fucks me right off. And now I'm ranting.

PineappleTime · 09/05/2024 21:10

You don't live with it?!? Why are you?

Elieza · 09/05/2024 21:31

Sounds like he's an asshole and you could do better.

Why put up with his shite if you don't have to? I'd rather be alone than have that drama. He's not worth it. Time to leave.

dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:37

PineappleTime · 09/05/2024 21:10

You don't live with it?!? Why are you?

I live with it yes, but nearing the end of the line now

OP posts:
dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:38

Elieza · 09/05/2024 21:31

Sounds like he's an asshole and you could do better.

Why put up with his shite if you don't have to? I'd rather be alone than have that drama. He's not worth it. Time to leave.

Regarding the car, I do not have my own transort

OP posts:
dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:41

MillshakePickle · 09/05/2024 21:10

If he's not respecting you or listening and is unwilling to change or see where he is genuinely at fault, being reckless and scaring you is the any point?

You've tried. You either have to accept this is who he is, and it may get worse with time, or it'd time you call time on the relationship.

If you choose to accept it, can you live with it? How will it affect you long term? Will you feel confident and comfortable with him driving kids in the back, for example?

Personally, I'm not strong enough to deal with this type of false macho bravado bullshit that some men may develop behind the wheel. It honestly, fucks me right off. And now I'm ranting.

It fucks me off too, absolutely childish and unwarranted!

But it is more the fact that I have explained how it makes me feel and asked for it to stop = disrespectful and unable to see that

OP posts:
RandomForest · 09/05/2024 21:54

What a bore he is.

For some reason really selfish people think they're interesting.

I'm sure you could have far more interesting conversations with anybody but him.

Tell him to move along, he's boring the shit out of you with his tantrums and ego dancing.

dreamdaisy · 09/05/2024 21:58

RandomForest · 09/05/2024 21:54

What a bore he is.

For some reason really selfish people think they're interesting.

I'm sure you could have far more interesting conversations with anybody but him.

Tell him to move along, he's boring the shit out of you with his tantrums and ego dancing.

Thank you, likely not long before I am doing that. Totally had enough

OP posts:
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