Deep scares left by husband getting his lover pregnant

[dirtyfries2023]

*deep scars

I wonder if anyone else has been in this situation and how it has affected them long term?
My husband (now ex) got the OW pregnant only 3 months into their affair. She's 18 years younger. We had been married for 25 years.
It has now been nearly 6 years since I found out and although I would never want anything to do with him again, the scars that are left are still so painful.
I desperately wanted a third child but ex said no. He said he found babies hard work and we were lucky that we already had two healthy kids.
I find it odd that I'm well and truly over the marriage and divorce the but baby thing still pings at my heart.

It's the 'what if you'd had a 3rd' thing still going through your head I think. I'm sorry for what you've gone through, your ex is a prick.

My kids are still young, 5 and 2, and for the first year after DS2's birth I was still considering a third, but came to the conclusion that it wasn't for us, but that was a decision I came to myself, it wasn't foisted upon me by my DH, although he did agree that we were done.

I do still look at my friends tiny babies and feel a twinge though!

Given his opinion of babies, I bet the honeymoon phase of their relationship wore off rapidly. OW by now will harbour plenty of resentment for being left to do the 'hard work '. Are they still together? The age gap will become a gulf as he ages quicker relative to her. Mature and experienced turns into grumpy old whinger often by middle age - not attractive while still in her 30's. I'm sure if he's not had his comeuppance yet, he will do.
Regarding a 3rd DC, would you have been better off being left with a young child to bring up on your own? He would probably still have left you, and maybe sooner if he finds parenting a drag. Be glad you have 2 lovely DC's, it's not easy being a single parent and not something to wish for.

Perfectly valid feeling to have. A betrayal on top of a betrayal. Unfortunately you can't change the past, life only moves forward and you must move forward with it. Draw your attention to yourself and what you can do to make your self happier. Make peace with the past and bury it.

I'm crying reading this. You've as good as the same story as mine. Ex was only gone6 weeks and got a woman 14 yrs younger than us pregnant. We were together 20 yrs and had a 3 & 4 yr old. He stayed with her. That's almost 2 yrs ago and it's still very raw. Still massively hurting about it all and how he left one family and straight into another. It's done so much damage to me. Then I read where you said that was 6 yrs ago the scars are still there and I cried some more because I just want this pain and emptiness and jealousy to stop. New woman is absolutely beautiful as well he definitely had a huge upgrade and it's hard.
I thought I was so alone on here with how quick it took ex to get into a whole new family as if 20 yrs of us never existed, thought I was the only one with a situation like this on here. I'm glad I seen your post

Well, he is a prince, isn't he???

As PP said, thank goodness you weren't left holding a third child, but I completely understand your hurt. Can you talk to someone? It could possibly help.