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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

EA x trying to sabotage new relationship

4 replies

Elliex92 · 08/05/2024 23:16

EA x and I divorced when DD(4) was a baby. He made up a false allegations as a revenge when we initially split up. Although an awful split and something I would never forgive him for doing, I’ve tried my best to keep our co patenting relationship as amicable as possible for DD sake. I met someone over 6 months ago and was planning on introducing him to DD. Out of courtesy I informed X (also because I thought it would be better coming from me than DD). He’s now demanding he doesn’t want DD around any other man and must inform him when new partner is visiting. I told him to jog on (he remarried a woman from his home country in secret without introducing her to DD.
As he’s realised he can’t dictate that he’s now went from having DD twice a week to 1/2 days a month. It’s quite obvious he doing this in the hopes I have no free time and will not be able to continue the relationship/ pursue another in the future. Family all work full time and money is tight so hiring babysitters isn’t an option

Has anyone else been in such a situation? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
FatFemale · 08/05/2024 23:24

I do hope youve changed your CMS to reflect the number of days he had DD. Hit HIM where it hurts!

ZekeZeke · 08/05/2024 23:39

FatFemale · 08/05/2024 23:24

I do hope youve changed your CMS to reflect the number of days he had DD. Hit HIM where it hurts!

Agree 100%

Roryhon · 08/05/2024 23:45

Just breezily tell him “that’s fine, my mum/friend has offered to babysit while I’m out on dates”. Then he realises he has cut his nose off to spite his face - not sabotaged your relationship and lost time with his child..

Elliex92 · 08/05/2024 23:52

Thanks all. We currently have an arrangement but not through CMS (he pays a lot less than he should). I’ll make an application. I just can’t believe he’s using DD as a pawn. It doesn’t help that lookswise he’s intimidating (extremely tall, built like a sh@t brick, handsome). I feel like once any potential partner realises I have a jealous controlling ex, they will run a mile. 😔

OP posts:
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