Dangers of Narcissist use of social media to love-bomb or stalk.

[OfferOtter]

This is something I’ve been contemplating recently. Partly stimulated by personal experience.

The widespread use of social media in dating – Facebook, texting, Instagram, WhatsApp - these are all potential ways for narcissists and psychopaths to :

a) love-bomb you as there is none of the normal time and physical gaps in interaction that respect boundaries and allow reflection.

b) And of course social media “talk and charm” is cheap, baseless, instant, and can be highly stimulating.

c) getting lots of information on you

d) being able to inveigle their way into every aspect of your life, even forever and

e) and, finally, the ability to stalk you.

This is particularly the case if you are in vulnerable circumstances (eg. single parent) or perhaps more energetically open.

There is a current series on Netflix series called “You”. Episode 1 illustrates perfectly the nefarious ways in which social media can be used in this way .

(The vast majority of normal men of course will not engage in any of this. But there are enough wackos out there for one to take care).

🌺

Internet dating is used by some as free counselling and many men, and women, enjoy the buzz of talking to multiple people and being in what they think is control after perhaps a bad relationship.

Red flags 🚩
”don’t take myself too serious”
”here for a good time not a long time”
referring to his or your kids as “baggage”
never married or had kids and into his 40s
no proper photos
wants to go straight to whatsapp
asks for “more pictures”
show a lot of skin in his pictures
sad or cold eyes
picture taken in any vehicle
weird timings of texting back and forth.
weekend and evening radio silence
unwilling to do a video call
asks too many questions about your work and money
holds a fish

I would add it’s not just “internet” dating (though that of course is a particularly common hunting ground).

It can be a similar case even when meeting people in the ‘real world’ when the relationship then takes off mainly via social media.

Episode 1 of “You” on Netflix that I mentioned illustrates this perfectly. They initially meet in real life but the relationship “starts” properly on social media.