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Original poster

advice

31 replies

Flute56 · 07/05/2024 23:28

without going into too much detail, I fancy someone I know and not sure if they fancy me. I am not very confident around someone I like and we do talk. I was paid a compliment by this person a while back about my appearance which took me by surprise and I did catch them looking at me briefly on another occasion. We did have a bit of a banter type conversation and that was nice but I am not sure what to make of it. Its a delicate situation and i am not sure about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Flute56 · 20/05/2024 00:22

Does ND mean some kind of ausism? My parents never mentioned anything like this to me. Maybe it never crossed their mind.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 20/05/2024 01:20

Flute56 · 20/05/2024 00:22

Does ND mean some kind of ausism? My parents never mentioned anything like this to me. Maybe it never crossed their mind.

Yes, that's what it means.
Going by this thread and your other threads, it wouldn't surprise me if you were autistic.
I'm autistic. I wasn't diagnosed till late adulthood.

Original poster
Flute56 · 20/05/2024 01:23

Pinkbonbon · 20/05/2024 00:16

The thing is though op, there's nothing to suggest they are blowing hot and cold.

It sounds more like they complimented you, just making conversation and then maybe realised you'd taken it as a sign of romantic interest so, backed off. I mean 'I felt as if they were trying to get away from me'. Yeah, probably because you were creeping them out.

This person owes you nothing. They were nice to you and as far as I can see, talk to you... and all of a sudden you've decided they are 'nasty'.

I think this is a you issue op.
As pp said, it all seems very black or white thinking wise. Maybe they are a nice person but guess what, you aren't the Feckenham centre if their universe. They want to talk to other people at work. Shocker.

Edited

Well I am sorry but if they assume I am creeping them out they are wrong. I was only trying to be friendly because I dont want to be seen as stand offish. How else do you make friends if you dont put in the effort. Its not as if I engage with them every day or try to email them. Now tht would really be creeping them out. I only try to talk to them once in a while and I you assume I am creeping them out 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Flute56 · 20/05/2024 01:50

I am watching a documentary about how copules get together and interestingly enough one peerson said she was a member of a walking group. Her partner joined the walking group to get to know her and it worked and they became friends and then started dating. Obviously that worked out but if someone joined my social group just because they fancied me and I did not fancy them it would be creepy

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 20/05/2024 02:24

Im assuming you were creeping them out (by which I mean making them FEEL creeped out) because you said you 'felt they were trying to get away from me'.

Normally if you get a feeling someone wants to get away from you - it's because they do! Reasons behind that can be, you're making them feel uncomfortable.

Also, you're not trying to be this persons friend. Because you fancy them. Chances are, they have noticed that! They get the vibes you're putting out - and aren't into it.

That doesn't make them nasty. Nor does not wanting to be your friend.

There's nothing wring woth putting yourself out there but this person doesn't owe you their friendship.

Original poster
Flute56 · 20/05/2024 02:42

Pinkbonbon · 20/05/2024 02:24

Im assuming you were creeping them out (by which I mean making them FEEL creeped out) because you said you 'felt they were trying to get away from me'.

Normally if you get a feeling someone wants to get away from you - it's because they do! Reasons behind that can be, you're making them feel uncomfortable.

Also, you're not trying to be this persons friend. Because you fancy them. Chances are, they have noticed that! They get the vibes you're putting out - and aren't into it.

That doesn't make them nasty. Nor does not wanting to be your friend.

There's nothing wring woth putting yourself out there but this person doesn't owe you their friendship.

I guess so. If they wanted to be friends they would make it known like other people have done to me. I made great friends with a woman I worked with. She then retired and we continued having contact . We phone one another regularly every couple of weeks and talk for abut 30 minutes. She mvoed right away and I am still working so meeting is a bit hard but at least we talk regularly on the phone. This obviously is one person who wanted to befriend me and I did not feel as I hd to make a huge effort because she made just as much effort to maintain the friendship.

You win some you lose some

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