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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Why is everything my fault

16 replies

Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:16

I don't know who to turn to I'm crying every night I just want ro end of life every day I get stress something hapoens with family also myself
But my partner every time he has a vape every day a new one which costs £5.99 per day
I'm in debt
I cry every day stress
If my partner doesn't get a vape he verbal abuses me
Calls me names puts me down he doesn't talk or help me in any way I want end my life I can't cope no more what's going of living getting stressed further into debt
I don't go out or have social life I sit indoors every day I just can't cope no more

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 07/05/2024 22:20

All right. Let's see if we can break things down.

If your bf asking you to pay for his vape?

Does he work?
Do you?

Where do you both live?

What debt are you in? Have you talked to eg CAB about it?

Do you love your bf? Do you want to be with him?

Bananalanacake · 07/05/2024 22:23

Yes, you shouldn't be paying for his vapes. Could you have a relationship without living together, then you would have more space or are you needing the joint income to live where you are.

MNHQ
ImaniMumsnet · 07/05/2024 22:32

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:43

dragonscannotswim · 07/05/2024 22:20

All right. Let's see if we can break things down.

If your bf asking you to pay for his vape?

Does he work?
Do you?

Where do you both live?

What debt are you in? Have you talked to eg CAB about it?

Do you love your bf? Do you want to be with him?

So basically he off sick because he problems with his lungs. Due to vaping
Any how we are barely coping hrs on sickness leave.
He gives me from his wages £200 to pay for bills he keeps 150
I don't anything myself as in nothing
We are on universal credit and goes on rent
Then bills then food .etc
I have to pay for his vapes every single day
If he doesn't he starts on me calling my family names calling Me c ..nt
I have store cards bills etc
And no I haven't spoken to cab

OP posts:
Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:45

And yes we both live together he plays xbox toll 2am every day
Costing me£240 just on electricity

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 07/05/2024 22:48

Ok. I'n really sorry to hear all this. Sounds like life is tough for you.

I'd suggest you stop paying for his vapes. Say you can't afford it. Show him your bills and how much money you have.

But he sounds abusive. Have you thought of ringing Women's Aid? Talk to them. They will be able to help you.

Do you have friends or family that you could talk to?

Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:48

ImaniMumsnet · 07/05/2024 22:32

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Can you keep this comment on my thread please so I can access tomorrow I'm half asleep 😴

OP posts:
Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:52

dragonscannotswim · 07/05/2024 22:48

Ok. I'n really sorry to hear all this. Sounds like life is tough for you.

I'd suggest you stop paying for his vapes. Say you can't afford it. Show him your bills and how much money you have.

But he sounds abusive. Have you thought of ringing Women's Aid? Talk to them. They will be able to help you.

Do you have friends or family that you could talk to?

I've tried so so many times the problem is he has addiction to them
If I don't buy them he puts me down like if he hasn't got one and we go the shops he get strop walk a head of me or walk other side of the road or just won't talk he slams the door
Throw things gets in mood call me names.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:53

I just don't know who to turn too
I want to cry 😢.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:55

I get stressed every day 😫

OP posts:
Original poster
Saphirexx · 07/05/2024 22:58

I do have family snd friends
But I can't talk to them or don't want menton to family because my family unwell
I just feel week

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 07/05/2024 23:01

I'm sure that, even if your family is unwell, they'd want to know if you were unhappy, and they'd want help you.

You said you were tired. Why not try to sleep tonight, and I will check in you in the morning?

VeraForever · 07/05/2024 23:24

Please speak to CAB or Women's Ad. Please , please speak to them.
You cannot nor should not live like this.
Please find the courage. 💐

dragonscannotswim · 08/05/2024 07:53

How did you sleep, @Saphirexx ?

Original poster
Saphirexx · 08/05/2024 09:18

dragonscannotswim · 08/05/2024 07:53

How did you sleep, @Saphirexx ?

I slept really well
All fine this morning

Till him waking up calling me douchebag and then walking ahead of me then while walking to shop get milk didn't get no vapes then saying that a person said something about me then getting in strop walking ahead of me
And I got looks people thinking why he not walking with me
I didn't want go home 😕

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 08/05/2024 09:29

I'm glad you slept well.

Do you feel strong enough today to ring Women's Aid and ask for their advice?

You don't deserve to live like this.

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