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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this worth it…?

2 replies

Philly1234 · 07/05/2024 18:43

I’m going through a divorce after a long separation. Now living in my own home and share care of the kids with my ex 50/50. All is rosy. I’ve met a wonderful man who’s in a similar situation to me. However he works funny shifts and has his kids every night he doesn’t work, bar one, but he has to be up at the crack of dawn after that one night. In 14 months I’ve never spent 24 hours with him. It’s a few hours here, an afternoon there, an overnight here and I’m finding this increasingly challenging, emotionally. We see one another maybe once a week - max. Usually it’s less than that. I get every other weekend completely free plus two week nights but I spend most of that time alone. I’ve plenty of other stuff to fill my time, I’ve lots of friends and hobbies. He’s a great catch in so many ways but I find myself feeling sad and wondering how this will ever progress. I feel like I conveniently slot into his life. We recently introduced our children to one another so there’s the option of blended family type time but that does not massively appeal to me if I’m honest. He has a lot of difficulties with his ex and there’s some enmeshment there so I kind of want to keep some boundaries really. Anyone else managed to navigate a similar scenario well? Any tips at all?

OP posts:
TwilightSkies · 07/05/2024 18:46

We recently introduced our children to one another so there’s the option of blended family type time but that does not massively appeal to me if I’m honest.

Why did you do it if it doesn’t appeal to you?

Philly1234 · 07/05/2024 18:51

TwilightSkies · 07/05/2024 18:46

We recently introduced our children to one another so there’s the option of blended family type time but that does not massively appeal to me if I’m honest.

Why did you do it if it doesn’t appeal to you?

@TwilightSkies well I’d like to spend more time with him; just me and him. That’s more my preference. Fun time. Child free ideally.

OP posts:
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