I know this, but I need someone to say yup and you need you Close the door.
husband and I been together 10+ years and been Rocky the last few for various reasons. Been trying hard to work through it with effort/
therapy. 2 kids one with a congenital condition and one with autism so some increased challenges there but we don’t do too badly as a unit. I’m definitely main parent in sense I do all the “mom” stuff and work around their school times and my husband works much longer hours and it’s often quite a struggle to get him to join us for day trips at weekend as he’d rather relax after a week at work, fair enough but the kids love him Coming to pool/ cinema whatever the weekend activity is so after some grumbling he generally does and we generally have fun.
lately I’ve really been thinking we might make it but this weekend has thrown it right out the park. Booked a cheap deal away to a premier inn as it’s both kids birthdays this week and it’s a bank holiday. Planned it all down to a Tee, as is key when you have kids with additional needs, from when wed leave to booking quiet sensory times at pool to nice lunch etc, you get the picture. All is well tho he is a bit nippy by yesterday asking if we can chill in room for a few hours in the middle of the day which was odd as he wasn’t ill and we had activities planned and a hotel room with kids is great but not for him to have a
nap for 2 hours at 3pm! But I was trying to keep everyone happy so we did and ventured out again for a walk and food after his nap. All well until we stopped at sweet cafe for cake where I forgot my phone (obviously didn’t clock this until we got back to hotel for dinner). By then we had 2 hungry kids and were already headed into the buffet so I said to him “agh I think I left my
phone in X, could you call them from your phone and check?” And he simply behaved like a prize winning tool. In front of the kids and other guests said no, my fault for being careless for leaving it, he wouldn’t call them, I could just go and get it (15 min walk away). I had the 2 kids plates in my hand so I said less gently this is ridiculous, I’ve got the kids food in my hand please just Google them and call them and if they have it get them to hold onto it until we can go back. again he refused, saying he’s sick of my carelessness and no he wouldn’t call and I should just go and get it. By now the kids are crying saying no mummy don’t go (they have major food quirks so rely on me to make sure food doesn’t touch on plate etc) so I finally snapped and told him a real man would not be giving me
a hard time for a simple mistake and seeing as I was sorting out kids dinners would have happily called the cafe and gone to get it as the kids wanted my help with food at that point. I wasn’t exactly lounging around in a spa! he was so rude, can’t remember what he said but enough that people were looking. Kids now crying saying stop arguing and I was trying so hard not to cry, I just sat down to cut up their food and he stormed off saying I was clearly doing nothing as usual and went to the cafe returning with the phone and proceeded to act like nothing was wrong.
I was so upset but trying not to show it, surely a nice person would not give their partner a hard time for a mistake but try and help? I can’t even imagine not helping someone I didn’t like, let alone my partner.
it sounds small written down but it felt a big deal with the kids being upset with it and I oddly think it’s a small straw that has broken my back. I’m not overreacting am I?