Am I being petty?

[collann]

Hi guys
I've been with my DP for 5 years and although it's been tough at times (situations thrown at us) we've always come through it stronger.
Anyway we've been talking about marriage and an engagement may be on the cards soon 🤞🏻
But when I mentioned I can't wait to show my distant family (who I keep in touch with through Facebook) how happy we are are, he said he doesn't want it posted on social media.

When we first got together we were always posting and tagging each other but then both decided to take a break from it as it was taking over. Although we're both still on it we don't really post much but tag memories etc.

Am I overreacting with being upset over this?
He said he wants everyone to know and is happy for us to send private messages to family and friends, he just doesn't see why we need to post it.
I was looking forward to showing off my ring. I haven't got many friends so my families comments would've been nice.

Please be honest

I'm afraid I'm on your DP's side with this. He is happy to share the news in private messages and wants every one to know.

There was a valid reason why you both took a break from social media - because it was " taking over". Why slip back into that possibly happening again?

Watch 'the social dilemma' on Netflix. I used to be exactly like this, until I saw the social dilemma and realised how silly it all is.

If you want to share with your family, message them privately - make a big WhatsApp group if you like! Social media is all cultivated, manipulative nonsense. It creates an environment whereby everyone is constantly in competition with one another - who can get married next, who has the nicest ring, who has the best lifestyle, who can seem the happiest.

Your brain is programmed to seek the dopamine of reinforcement/approval from people on social media. His isn't. Have a good think about why you even care to broadcast this to the world, and why sharing the information privately with those closest to you isn't good enough

I am with him - sorry

A few things come to mind - you don’t need to be engaged for people to see you’re happy. I’m a big fan of marriage but it’s not like you need proof. Is that what it feels like?

Why, if not just for proof as above, is your first thought about a potential engagement to splash it on social media?

And I’m going to be old and boring but do you need a proposal or are you agreeing to marry each other because that’s as romantic - an equal decision - as an insta-worthy down on one knee event?

I’ve done both. The mutual agreement one was much better and the marriage has lasted a lot longer. The big event one wasn’t posted on socials either fwiw.

Really appreciate your replies and you're right it doesn't need to be splashed on social media as neither one of us are massive users of it.
I think it's just because we're so happy I wanted to share it.