He’s gone

[Kay101]

How did you finally accept that he was gone and that he’s not coming back. Even when you have had relationships with other people, but there’s always that one that you always think of. It’s so hard sometimes

I haven't. I've also never admitted this before now, I occasionally catch myself checking if he's text. I am well and truly, over the relationship and would never want to get involved with him again.( married with kids etc) But I still want to be wanted by him. To know he's at least thinking of me after all that had happened. That he regrets the way he treated me.

It's absolutely ridiculous and self indulgent to even harbour these thoughts. Why? I guess it's purely my ego needing and wanting some sort of validation or closure which I know logically ill never have but want even just some sort of small gesture or acknowledgement.

When you figure it out op, please let me know how to stop this.

@MillshakePickle yeah it’s so difficult isn’t it

Has today been any easier?

I think it almost feels like grief when you finally, properly realise that you most likely won't ever see or hear from him again. Doesn't stop you from always having an eye out though.

I found accepting he’s gone for good pretty hard. I always wondered if they also have that feeling of wondering if you’ve reached out etc, or if they just disappear into the sunset without a second thought?

Is it a symptom of something (not necessarily him) missing? I’m thinking you want to be desired, or that intensity from someone and that is not currently present for you? I’m on a break from online dating as I think too much about someone, who I didn’t even meet 🤔.

@MillshakePickle well I have good days and bad but today was just meh, I’m trying my best to not think of them. And yes it definitely does feel like you’re grieving. So horrible. How are you doing?

@Rockiepride yes sometimes I wonder if they think I’m thinking of reaching out

@FatAndFiftySomething umm
i don’t think it’s necessary being desired, just more of the memories and that we were together when we were young and people mature

I never have ‘accepted’ it so I’m sorry but I have no words of wisdom or comfort to share… you simply keep breathing in and out and exist in the new world without him. Your heart wants who it wants but your head will keep trying to help you to somehow move forward. You are not alone OP- sending you hugs and wishing you courage xx

@Secondwifenotsecondbest yes that’s true, you just have to get on with it, hope you’re doing ok too

I was in the middle of a text conversation with him as we had remained friends for over 30 years. I didn't hear back. About two weeks later I saw on Facebook he had died. Gutted beyond