Whatever next…

[Sammyk85]

My boyfriend and I have been going through some rough patches, which I thought we were nearly on the other side of… this evening he’s told me he doesn’t know whether he wants to be in a relationship, when I’ve said in that case shall we end things now. He’s said no- as he knows us breaking up would be a mistake..
mum not sure what I’m asking? What would you lovely mumsnetters do? My heart says I don’t want to end things. Tia x

Sounds like he's keeping his options open and trying to see if the grass is greener somewhere (doesn't necessarily have to be another person but it often is).

Personally I would not want to be treated like some kind of back up plan for whatever is going through his mind. Either he wants to be with you or not. There should be no middle ground.

Personally if my partner wasn’t sure they wanted to be in a relationship, that would be the end for me.

Easier said than done, I know. However, you deserve someone that wants you and wants to be with you without question ❤️

I think he had said that make you feel insecure so you are scared to lose him and either A) try harder to keep him or B ) stop whatever issue it is that has been causing the rough patch. (Guessing it is something related to his behaviour)

it’s classic manipulation. Tell him you agree, you don’t want to be in a relationship either and see what he says to that.

That would be the end for me (in fact, this is how my last relationship ended).

He’s already checked out and keeping you hanging as a plan B
What’s your head telling you?

He doesn't know whether he wants to be in a relationship but he thinks breaking up would be a mistake.

Of course, it doesn't have to be his decision...

Sounds like he wants you to beg to be with him, it's a form of power play. Don't go down this road with him.

Your relationship will never be the same now he's said this, you would be better off ending it and finding someone who appreciates you and wants to be with you 100%.