I posted before. My 2 year relationship ended when I moved into my new house. I was lodging with him for 10 months till my house was built. That was the plan. He was going to rent his place out and move with me. But it didn’t happen as I did t have that conversation. I am not upset but now found out he wasn’t nice to my friends. I feel like a fool for letting this man in my life.
he lived miles away from my social life and work. I was exhausted from commuting and doing all the house work etc. I really didn’t enjoy living there and over time resented him as he had gone from a caring guy to one who went out when he wanted and didn’t include me. I was lonely and miserable.
when we broke up he admitted that his life was his life and he didn’t want to include me as it was his safe space. Said he lost friends before in relationships and was doing things differently. He thought I liked cleaning and doing chores as I was contributing!!
I admitted I was tearful and looking to rent somewhere months before I moved out. He was shocked and thought things were fine, until - as he said - he felt he had to make an appointment to see me as I was seeing my friends more. Basically I wasn’t always there and he had to make an effort.
He said I changed in November, as if a switch had been turned and seemed to not want to in a relationship. I didn’t realise it, but most of my friends saw it. I was going through the motions till I micro out.
since found out he was rude to my friends - passive aggressive changed. I didn’t see it, but happened when I was in the toilet or getting a drink etc. I just thought as I lived miles away my friends didn’t want to travel up much. They did when he was not there.
I just feel like I was cat fished. I fell in love with a guy and couldn’t see his flaws. I did at the end, but was shocked with what my friends said. I am intelligent and emotional aware, but I didn’t see this - how.
I am happier without him. Slept properly and reconnected with my friends. But I can’t stop wondering what he is up to. The things I said were caring, my friends said were basic functions. He wasn’t that caring when mocking me behind my back.
plus his friends are actually not his friends. A few reached out to me and said he is an alpha male and needs to be on top and pushes people down. Friends say he is pub friends and fun when drunk. Don’t worry as I will move on to better things and was too good for him. Apparently the fact I had a great job and ambition etc was what be boosted about - perceived status which is not something that is in my values.
so basically I had a lucky escape. But I am upset that I got hooked into something that was not real. A selfish guy who was entitled and superficial