Can the ick go away?

[Youreleaving]

For the last month or so, I've become very unattracted to my long term DP. He is generally a kind person who tries his best to take care of me and our DS. Now everything he does is deeply irritating me. I haven't even spoken to him yet this morning and I'm already dreading the day ahead. I looked over at him sleeping and felt a pang of dislike. I went downstairs to find even though he'd stayed up later than me, the washing is still on the line and last night's cups, glasses and plates are still dirty (this is despite a conversation we had recently about him picking up more of this kind of work around the house to ease my load). I was getting up earlier today to make pancakes but I've completely lost the motivation and now don't want to bother.

I don't want to go back upstairs because I don't want to be cuddled in bed or have an argument. We are due to move to a bigger house soon and I can't help but think I am making a huge mistake. I'm just unsure I can deal with the expense and upheaval of trying to go our separate ways.

In my experience it doesn’t.

From the way you are describing I think the end is in sight. Don’t move to a bigger house if this is how you are feeling.

In my experience, it doesn't go away. it just gets worse! I ended a relationship last year because of this and it felt like a weight had been lifted.

‘the ick’ is just a made up thing. Of course you can go off people or dislike things about them. Plus Relationships ebb and flow and often require work.

Rather than wonder if you have the ick, think about what needs to change in the relationship and discuss with your DH. Or think seriously about leaving if that’s what you want.

Sorry but l think it's unlikely to go away. If you are rethinking your future together then l'd cancel the move. You say you now find him unattractive, is that physically or down to his general lack of input re sharing chores etc, or both?

Well it's only going to go away if he addresses some of the issues that are bothering you.
If conversations about him taking a more active role in your life at home aren't successful then you're going to grow to dislike him more and more because you're left having to parent him rather than partner him.

This isn't the 'ick' it's very valid loss of regard borne out of his entitled and lazy behaviour. I wouldn't move into a new place with him. Take the chance to go your separate ways.

I really don't think contempt can be "got over" IMO. You need a calm talk to let him know how his behaviour is making you feel about him. One last chance for him to step up, otherwise you'll be making plans without him.

I agree, ick is a very short way of saying "he is disappointing me".

My x gave me the ick when I told him that his vaping stank. He had no intention to reduce the quantity of nicotine/vape, he just kept vaping. Gross. I told him kindly how I found it horrible. He chose to prioritise nicotine, even though the addiction can be conquered in 3 days.

In short, ick.