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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I just want to pack and leave DH

12 replies

schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 20:35

He is so controllinga nd lazy. Everyday he has been off he has stayed in bed. I have taken the children (3 and 5) out on days out on my own. He gets up mid morning plays on his computer and then i coook tea and he moans at me because I haven't sewn buttons on his shirt etc. He works full time. i work 12 hours a week but because he works full time he is entitled to do this he thinks. I ahve ahd enough I could scream

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schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 20:36

The only reason I am not going is because he says he will fight me for custody

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hk78 · 02/04/2008 20:36

it's so much harder when they have time off isnt it

i think you work more than 12 hours a week if you've two little ones

tribpot · 02/04/2008 20:37

God, I wish I was married to you (in a non sexual harrassment stylee!). I work full-time, my dh is a SAHD, I don't even get days off work! But if I did, and said "hi dh and ds, I'll just be lying in bed, do sew on a button please" I don't think the response would be "okay trib, we'll be right on it".

Definitely not fair.

hk78 · 02/04/2008 20:37

if he's that lazy, fighting you for custody is probably just an idle threat

tribpot · 02/04/2008 20:38

Fight you for custody - yeah right. He can't be arsed looking after your children when you're together, but he's going to go for custody? How many men say this when they clearly don't mean it, it's just a bullying tactic. IGNORE HIM.

schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 20:39

I think this is just the tip of the ice berg I was nine stone when we met and am now 11 stone. Due to unhappiness partly and he constantly calls me big girl etc

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hk78 · 02/04/2008 20:43

he criticises your weight as well!he must perfect himself.

"big girl you are beautiful"

(i dream of 11 stone, lol)

hk78 · 02/04/2008 20:45

if you are decide to stay, you have got to mentally disengage from him, (that has helped me)then he can't verbally hurt you as much

schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 20:47

I think I have hk78. The children are my world we are happy without him don't need him and I think he is getting worse to try and get a reaction

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hk78 · 02/04/2008 20:55

schmoopoo this is what happened with us.

eventually maybe they will give up the stupid behaviour (we hope)

is it anything like this syndrome

www.amazon.com/Living-Passive-Aggressive-Man-Scott-Wetzler/dp/0671870742

saw this recommended on here, read it, full of help about how to disengage yourself, really good.

schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 21:13

are you still with him if you don't mind me asking

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schmoopoo · 02/04/2008 21:15

Some of the comments on that book sound so true he is never wrong and constantly changes the goal posts. I want out

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