I have a very difficult relationship with my mum and have now got to the point where I'm considering cutting contact all together. I'm trying to work through every angle before making this decision.
For background I went NC with my dad when I was 17 but he had unmanaged schizophrenia and was an alcoholic. This is very different.
I'm in my 30s and live in a city 2 hours from my mum and where I grew up. I've lived here for nearly 15 years and she's visited me about 4 times. We speak on the phone bout 4-6 times a year and I visit her roughly twice a year.
I did try set her up a WhatsApp so we could stay in touch more but she never used it. She lives alone but my sister is in the same city. They have a bit more contact but my sister also has a tense relationship with her.
I find calling or visiting her extremely stressful and anxiety inducing. Last time I spoke to her was in March for her birthday. I sent her flowers, she didn't say thank you, instead she told me I sent her the wrong colour.
I recently had a medical emergency, needed emergency surgery, nearly died and had a miscarriage. She sent me a text. It's been a month, no call, no card or anything.
She seems to have no interest in her grandchild, my son is 2.5 and she has only met him 3 times.
Each call with her is tense, I feel like I'm constantly on eggshells trying to keep her happy or never expressing my true opinions if I suspect she wouldn't agree with them.
Is this worth continuing? I know she's my mum and you only get one, but this relationship feels more damaging.
WWYD?