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Original poster

Ex said I'm evil and stopping him seeing the kids.

18 replies

CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 15:32

Ex sent me a text last night telling me I'm "evil" and have "stopped him seeing the kids" I never have THEY don't want to see him anymore after years of absence and letting them down but of course it's all my fault. What would you do because I don't want him trying to twist things in the future. I've asked the children and they don't want to see him should I respect it or keep trying? He last saw them over a year ago and this is the first contact he's made in a year.

OP posts:
Billybagpuss · 05/05/2024 15:39

Ignore him and if he persists block him. Are the kids old enough to make a decision if he takes you to court?

Does he drink is it likely to be a drunk text? It’s easier for him to blame evil ex than admit he’s brought it on himself.

keep any texts screenshots in case you need them and details of times he’s let them down.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 05/05/2024 15:42

I’d have to message back and saw Dear ex, your last saw the kids September last year ( for example) since then as per this message trail you have not organised to see them.

Id message just to be the bigger person so the kids know you’ve always left the door open …

Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 15:43

Oh that's a good point I didn't think about the drinking thing! Yes it was probably that. He would never take me to court so that isn't a worry and they are teens now. Don't want to text him that as he will only let them down again and they've already told me they don't want to see him anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 15:46

I've been begging him for years to take them overnight but he has always refused as he wanted to punish me (openly admitted to that) and not let me ever have any time on my own as I "don't deserve it" now they don't want to see him anymore he wonders why 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
ThehillIwilldieupon · 05/05/2024 15:47

I'd send him a quick text remind him that he has the kids numbers/social media and he is more than welcome to arrange a convenient time to meet with them directly.

It's easier to blame someone else than admit to yourself that you're a shit parent.

Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 15:48

ThehillIwilldieupon · 05/05/2024 15:47

I'd send him a quick text remind him that he has the kids numbers/social media and he is more than welcome to arrange a convenient time to meet with them directly.

It's easier to blame someone else than admit to yourself that you're a shit parent.

They are not on SM and they have blocked him, I guess he could call or text though but he hasn't. (Blocked on WhatsApp)

OP posts:
Cerialkiller · 05/05/2024 15:53

The only thing to do here is to ignore him. The kids aren't interested, they are old enough to decide themselves so that's that concluded.

If he texts anymore or this becomes a pattern I would send him an email address that he can contact you on for any further context, one that you only check one a week/month and tell him you are blocking him via phone as he is being unreasonable to you.

Pinkbonbon · 05/05/2024 16:01

My guess would be he has a new girlfriend and has to paint you as the bad guy.

Personally I'd go 'I haven't stopped them?Ahhh...let me guess, you have a new partner and are pretending you're not a lazy, feckless loser? You haven't even bothered to speak to your kids in a year and it seems they've wised up to what a twat you are. Do stop blaming other people for your own mistakes. Their choices are their own to make. I really hope you do repair the bond for their sake. But you only have yourself to blame for how they feel about you now'.

Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 16:03

I doubt it's a new partner he told me he doesn't tell women he has children!

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 05/05/2024 16:05

CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 16:03

I doubt it's a new partner he told me he doesn't tell women he has children!

Well, this one found out somehow.. and now he has too lie about why he doesn't see them.

And maybe is enjoying making himself out to be a victim of an abusive ex (perhaps because she is and he's trying to make her think they have that in common).

Somethings triggered the sudden (or fake) desire for contact.

category12 · 05/05/2024 16:05

Just ignore him.

Don't dignify it with a response.

The kids don't want to see him, they're old enough to decide that for themselves, they've chosen to block him.

He's not going to take it to court, so just blank him.

You and the kids know the truth, let him stew.

Illpickthatup · 05/05/2024 16:06

I wouldn't even reply and just block him.

If the kids are teens, even if he did take you to court they would likely just go along with what the kids wanted. But I assume he's had years to take you to court and he hasn't. If he was really interested in seeing his kids he would have made it happen. He's just trying to get a rise out of you and rid himself of the guilt. Don't give him the satisfaction. Block block block.

Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 16:51

That's my feelings; he hasn't taken me to court in all these years so no chance he will do it now, I would have loved him to take me to court years ago so he could prove he was serious and actually wanted to see the kids with regular contact but he never wanted to so he won't now.

OP posts:
Illpickthatup · 05/05/2024 17:04

CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 16:51

That's my feelings; he hasn't taken me to court in all these years so no chance he will do it now, I would have loved him to take me to court years ago so he could prove he was serious and actually wanted to see the kids with regular contact but he never wanted to so he won't now.

Does he pay maintenance?

Original poster
CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 17:17

No but he is on benefits I don't want any of his benefits money tbh.

OP posts:
Illpickthatup · 05/05/2024 17:20

CatchTheBalloon · 05/05/2024 17:17

No but he is on benefits I don't want any of his benefits money tbh.

Really is a prize dad isn't he? Sounds like you and the kids are well shot. Just ignore him and block him.

Rollinroller · 05/05/2024 17:39

Ignore him, mine does this every so often when he’s drunk. One of my kids never speaks to him the other only sporadically. They’re older teens so nothing to do with me, I’ve tried my hardest.

AstralSpace · 05/05/2024 18:37

You reap what you sow. It's all down to him.

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