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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moral support for the weekend please

4 replies

Dadjoke007 · 05/05/2024 12:53

I did post a thread a week or so back about the breakup of my relationship. Short story, together 9 months (both around 50) and the best I have ever had, loving relationship with no arguments at all, everything I ever wanted. Despite that, when her ex messaged she realised there were suppressed feelings for him and in the end she decided to end things as she thought the spark greater there. We did try radio silence but we both message each day and ended up meeting up 4 times this week when we said we wouldn’t. Both still have strong feelings for the other.

anyway. At the risk of sounding self indulgent, he is coming down today (Sunday) for a few days and have promised myself not to message and hopefully catch up with her weds when he has gone. Small chance she may realise the spark is not there as she thought but I doubt it. Luckily I am away today and tomorrow but just need some support to keep my promise to myself of not messaging and thinking how it’s going and getting myself down about it.

OP posts:
mrandmrsrobinson · 05/05/2024 13:04

Grow a pair. Block and delete. Move on.

yhk · 05/05/2024 13:29

She's having her cake and eating it too.

+1 for moving on. It's only been 9 months.

Exdonkeylover · 05/05/2024 19:03

Be warned you might be the 3rd cog in a wheel. You'll struggle to gauge her feelings for him and you might be just floating around playing 2nd fiddle to him.

It might she realises there's no spark with him, but you have to take into account she is trying again with him, which I'm afraid puts you in 2nd place.

Block, move on, see what the future holds.

K8ate · 05/05/2024 21:41

We all know it’s very difficult to walk away from someone who you really like.

But she is taking the piss out of you.

Unfortunately, you are unable to see it and deal with it rationally because you have strong feelings for her.

When you are out the other side and are ‘over her’, you will be able to process how she took advantage of you by basically keeping you as a back up.

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