Can I please ask opinions on if I'm overreacting

[Minniem2020]

Hi, yesterday DP was attempting to get DSs(2) shoes on and he wasn't sitting still, was running around the hall and broke a shoe cupboard which falls apart every time someone touches it.
DP got annoyed and said there's something fucking wrong with him, I replied, is he not just a 2 year old, to which he said again,no, there's something fucking wrong with him.
Well, I can't get past it, I actually hate him for saying it. For context, we also have another son who is autistic which is probably adding to my feelings but I honestly want to leave.
He has no patience at all for the 2 year old who I admit is definitely on the wild side and I'm trying to keep this in check but honestly,he's 2 and it's a struggle.
I've spoken to nursery and they have said he is behaving like an average 2 year old.
I know I am also very protective and defensive when it comes to my kids so I'm just looking for opinions on whether you think I'm overreacting in feeling so strongly. Thank you

No you’re not.

He should not be using such language in front of your child. I would be disgusted

Is he your DPs child?

That's a horrible way to speak about a child, especially in front of the child.

How does he normally interact with the children?

No, he's 2. They've all got an indecent amount of energy and they should be made to bottle it & donate it to people like me🤣🤣

with your older son having autism it's a fair guess DS2 may do too, but anyone casually saying 'there's something wrong with him'. Would get told to FO. Nasty thing to say.

My neighbour has a 2 year old, he's a gorgeous wee thing, but I hate the way they speak to him & have wayyyyy too high an expectation of him. It makes me sad.

your DP sounds like an incompetent, nasty, twat

No your not ...what an awful way to speak about his child

Hi, yes he is DPs son.
This is exactly what I think too. I'm so upset

He is great at the fun stuff but the actual parenting and any of the harder stuff all comes down to me.
That's mostly my doing though as I tend to just get on with things myself.

My dad didn't have patience with us as children. He just didn't have the parental skills. He was brought up that way too by his dad. He was great in other ways. Perhaps your partner doesn't know how to handle his frustration and there is something else going on.

Honestly THIS sounds like my ex lol (apart from the language) he was great at interacting with the child but not doing the responsibilities In the end I just got on with it as all of us women do! I left and he didn't want to know last time he seen his son was when he turned 2

Thank you for your reply.
I genuinely don't think he is autistic, I knew with DS6 by this age that he was but if it turns out that he is then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
It's like you say though, to just casually say something like that about a child is awful.
And I fully agree with the bottling the energy😂

OP, it's impossible for anyone to say on the basis of this thread whether your son might have any kind of developmental issues/ neurodiversity etc.

But you are absolutely not overreacting to your partner saying "There's something fucking wrong with him".

Horrible thing to say about his own child and to swear. If he's worried then he should be having a mature discussion with you about whether to raise more concerns with nursery/ GP, etc.

Your partner's reaction sounds a bit on the aggressive side and I'd be worried he would lose his temper around children.