Am I wasting my time if I try internet dating?

[InShockHusbandLeaving]

I’m starting to feel as though I’d like to meet someone after my husband left me for a woman over thirty years my junior and I felt completely demoralised. I’m no longer attractive and I’m not sure that I’d have any success if I try internet dating. I’m scared I’d end up feeling even worse than I did when ex husband of many years left me. Oh, his young GF is now pregnant too so that’s made me feel even worse. I’m a grandmother and he’s starting again with babies. I mean, I don’t really envy him because babysitting my grandchild is lovely but I’m finding it hard going even though I’m not doing overnights!

Wow - I thought my experience had been bad but that’s shocking.

I’ve found even thought I’ve filtered heavily and only got into chats with a few men, almost all of them turned the chat sexual very quickly. I’ve had naked photos sent and my worst is one started masturbating during phone conversation.

The only guy I actually liked enough to go on a few dates with quickly showed himself to have more baggage than Gatwick and ED.

It is all pretty dispiriting, isn't it. And quite traumatic at points. I have male friends i like as people but I think lockdown has somehow enabled worse behaviour.

I do also know men who would love to meet someone too. But their self care bar is just so much lower to attempt to attract a mate, and it doesn't seem to involve much in the way of self reflection or physical effort.

I'm hitting 50 this year but look pretty OK given that due to making an effort but think that many men of similar ages on dating sites would automatically filter someone of my age automatically anyway.

But it's all academic now cos I'm not on them anymore! Good luck with it all though. I do know women who've met someone half decent so it can't be all bad. Maybe I've just been (really) unlucky!

OP ignore all the doom mongers, it's easy enough to weasel out the dregs, you need to be picky. Honestly it's the best thing I did.

I'm not doom mongering. I'm pretty cheerful in fact. Just sharing my experiences.

Example....

OLD is no biggy. Just keep in control. Take small steps. Anything remotely uncomfortable, block and delete.
But as PP have said you may want to work on your self first. Especially self esteem and confidence.

My mum did online dating in her 50’s after her 26yr marriage ended. She met the most wonderful man. They are now happily married, they travel the world together and his kids are in their 30’s like us, so we all enjoy huge Christmas’s together! It’s not all doom and gloom! I’ve never know my mum happier!