Second date or not?

[tanyaturneristhegoat]

It’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating game. Met somebody on tinder.

he’s 7 years younger than me
a policeman
2 kids
going through a divorce/buying a house

the first date 2 weeks ago went well, due to his schedule the second date isn’t until next week but nothing set it stone (as in a place/time etc) I did ask if he was free to do something but he couldn’t.

i haven’t had the best of luck with men! I just get the feeling it’s going to be a slow burner if it goes anywhere.

should I go on the second date or let it fizzle out? I actually quite like him which is why I’m a bit torn!

Carry on with him and you'll become the defacto nanny. Hard, hard pass. Given your child is grown, I definitely wouldn't want much younger children to contend with again if I were you. To top it off he's not even actually divorced yet. He's got too much baggage.

We have mutual work colleagues which have confirmed he isn’t - they are not covering his back.

our work does cross paths - albeit I wouldn’t see him.

How would they know if he was going on dates with women? Or even speaking to them on line?

I totally agree with you.

Op it sounds like you’ll go on a date whatever anyone says. Has he actually given a date, it sounds like you’re just chasing him. Wouldn’t be chasing him, you’ll be organising all the dates, whilst he sorts out the rest of his messy life

If you like him, the communication over the last 2 weeks has been great, he makes an effort to go on the date next week (don’t chase him and let him suggest a time and place), and you’ll definitely be able to see each other a lot more regularly then I think you should go on the date, because it sounds like you really want to. I wouldn’t try and meet at the millennium stadium - enjoy the time with your parents.

I personally don’t think a lot would change after a second date. He’s got 2 young children, going through a divorce (we don’t want you to be a rebound!) and buying a new house. That’s not to say everyone in this situation shouldn’t have a relationship, but it’s a very hard start to a new relationship, especially on your side.

Also, they say opposites attract, but I don’t think being ‘polar opposites’ (even personality wise) is good in the long run, at all. Find someone who’s a good match, has time for you, makes time for you. Exactly what Lurkingandlearning said. Maybe try online dating if you haven’t already? You don’t need to set up a huge profile - less is more!

Go on the date if you want to be sure but please don't invest hours chatting first. He could squeeze in a quick drink or coffee somewhere even with opposing shifts if had intent. Don't trust a man who has loads of excuses not to see you to change and suddenly be available (not in a nefarious way necessarily).

The fact you're going to the same gig and haven't arranged to even meet for a drink beforehand seems a bit strange. The parents could surely do their own thing for an hour before the show?

I’m going to go on the second date and decide then. Thanks for all your input.

the concert is a coincidence that we’re both going, with our parents. Enjoy your bank holiday all ☺️