would you want to know?

[a222]

me and my friend went out to a pool hall and the table next to us had two guys on, kept trying to add themselves into mine and my friends game and flirting etc. whatever, me and my friends both have a fella so we were polite but ignored them.

they then paid for their table (the lights go off and you can’t play anymore) and they then asked us for a game of doubles. we said yes, boys V girls, and they then were very patronising but unfortunately won. then we did play mixed doubles after as quite honestly me and my friend were wanting to prove that actually, we can play pool.

anyway throughout they are flirting etc and me and my mate had had a few drinks, but they had not is important to take into account. (also we are drinking on a thursday night as my job is a very short day on a friday and my friends work means she can be flexible). i feel like their age is something else to mention to avoid a dripfeed they are 34 and 30 while me and my friend are 20 and 22. i feel it’s also important to mention that they also have played pool against my dad and step brother in a local pub and are in a pool league where they know my dad and even worse lots of people know each other / gossip.

the guy then added me on facebook (we have many mutual friends) and in his profile picture is his wife and child!! he is out and about acting like a single man and i feel like adding me on facebook with her in the profile picture especially shows a complete lack of respect for her.

realistically, i won’t say anything due to the repercussions it will have, but i feel so awful for her. keeping my mouth shut almost feels wrong.

would IBU to tell my dad about this?

I would want to know if my husband was acting like he was single, yeah.

I agree Not sure how playing a few games of pool and having a bit of a laugh on a night out is acting single. Attached people are allowed to chat to people of the opposite sex.

Seems a mountain out of a molehill imo

we couldn’t exactly say ‘no thankyou’ when they had already sidled over to our table…it was all very awkward.

well, you can.

I think the responses here are harsh, I would not appreciate dh flirting with women but it’s impossible for you to prove and I wouldn’t divorce over him playing pool so I think you’d be better to let it go. I do think you’re overthinking a little too about gossip.

OP, you didn’t do anything wrong. Men like that take advantage of younger women not wanting to look rude or unfriendly. Then it’s hard for you to get rid of them. It’s all very well for people to tell you to be more assertive, but I remember (from similar experiences when I was young) how difficult that is, especially when it’s people you know.

I wouldn’t worry about what happened. But it is important to have boundaries — to know that you have rights and not let people (usually men) push you into allowing behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Nothing really happened though. A bit of flirting, a game of pool. I don't see the problem.

This.

I think some of the responses are harsh. I remember being that age and if 2 blokes in their 30's were doing what they were doing its very hard in the moment to tell them to fuck off.

I'd have no issue with doing that now, but I'm alot older and I think some people forget that if you are not naturally assertive, its very hard to do at such a young age. Plus we are programmed to be 'nice' and not want to look rude. And very easy to misjudge a situation and not want to come across as a bitch if they were just being friendly. Unfortunatley being friendly back often means men take that as a way in and then its much harder to get rid of them.
And the bloke was married with a kid.
Yes I would want to know if my dh was out chatting up women barely out of their teens (or any woman for that matter).

They knew exactly what they were doing and they also knew you were both young and thought they could sidle their way in there.

If they were just being friendly, they would have had normal convo with you and a wife and child would have definitely some up, to reassure you they were just wanting a nice game of pool if nothing else.
They didn't do that and I bet they knew you would find it hard to be assertive given you are alot younger.
And I bet if either of you HAD told them to b ugger off, it wuld of been met with something along the lines of 'what a bitch'. Honestly its so hard to balance these things and they were shit to have put you in that situation after you'd told them you already wanted to play alone.

Yes, tell your dad. Let the shit hit the fan.
You won't be the only young women they try and hit on.