Tactics dealing with last word people

[Flyhigher]

I have a few family members that insist of having the last word.

How can you deal with this as a tactic?

Teen does it. And others.

How do you combat it? And come out with some dignity.

HELP!!

Maybe it’s ok to let a teen have the last word? Let them have some authority or power or confidence in what they are saying? Smile and agree? I don’t think parents have to have the final word each time - that could be controlling

Maybe it's controlling of the teen, and a habit they'll inflict on others in adulthood

I like: okay, that's fine, if you need to have the last word, you can have it <smirk>
Then if they get the last word in, just smirk again otherwise, you've got the last word and win anyway

Agree and that's what I've done. But I feel now. She's controlling me. I feel bullied.
I think there should be some compromise.
There is none. She fights to the death every one.

And every time I give way I'm weaker in her eyes and she goes for it again harder next time.

One of my oldest friends is great at this. When met with a last worder she just pauses after the last thing they're said and says calmly….Hmm, maybe. And then leaves it.
its not agreement or disagreement but ends the conversation calmly. Ive seen her use it to great effect.

My ex husband was a last worder. Partly why he's the ex.
Can't quite take the same approach with my teen though unfortunately.

I tend to go 'mmmmmm', and make it very clear by my body language that my attention has moved elsewhere.

@Flyhigher you need to talk to your teen when she’s calm and tell her that while you will always love her, you really don’t like the way she speaks to you. It’s verbal abuse and you don’t have to put up with it. Do you punish her when she’s rude to you?

😂😂"stupidist"

Is there a psychologist that could give a more nuanced way out of all this?

Yes I've done the ignoring and smirk. And trying to bow out of it.

But it's not healthy.

No. Punishing a 16 year old isn't easy.

Don't think punishing helps. Either. Got to be much more nuanced.

Like that. It's obviously all in the delivery.

My go to response is "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong", not much they can say without simply repeating themselves 😆

Can you elaborate, please, @EveryKneeShallBow - I am being very dim here - what is FUSHTA?

It’s from that YouTube clip someone posted up thread. They’re trying to get the last word and saying things in faux Transylvanian.

Never back down with a teen - never. As you say, they do it more if you do.

I can imagine it’s worse with girls - I have DSs. But I would dig in hard - if she values anything she gets from you - allowance, lifts etc- she needs to know that they will stop unless her bullying behaviour stops. A teen behaving like this needs the boundaries enforcing very firmly.

Say 'And that the last word on the subject' and run out of the room with your fingers in your ears.

Just stop responding. Lets them have what they want and leaves your dignity. Been doing it for years!

I actually have that saying in word art on my wall 😂

Love the passive aggressiveness of this. Very tempted to try it next time!

The Dr Evil "let me tell you a story about a little boy named Shush" and the "whole bag of Shush here with your name on" gets a good workout here with my teen. And also (sometimes) makes him laugh and breaks the tension a bit.