No friends just my relationship

[Jiffner86]

Hi all, I couldn't find a topic thread that dealt with this subject so please excuse that it's not exactly a romantic relationship I am talking about, but the fact I am 38 and have no friends.

Me and my fiance moved to a completely new area 2 years ago, my mum and brother live up here as we all wanted to be close to each other but thats it for who I know. I was pregnant when I moved in and now my son is 2, I get him out to play groups and swimming but I haven't made any friends and it is really getting me down now.
A little background on me, I have always been a bit of a loner and suffered with social anxiety my entire life, I had a period in my early twenties were I had college friends and a group I went out drinking with, but as you do, you get older, get married and have kids and move away, so none of those friendships really exist past facebook anymore. So cue me now, in a new area, socially awkward with just my supportive partner to hang out with, oh and my mother but I want a female friend, I long for it. To add, I look about 24, so I suppose this doesn't help me, as I look inexperienced to some, plus I feel like my interests are 'weird' to a lot of women, I love heavy metal, art and I dress in vintage clothing...does that matter or am I being paranoid?

So I suopose my question is this, what makes you want to be friends with someone? What draws you to a woman to make you think, shes really interesting I want her to be my friend. ?

Please can anyone help and advise? I am at the end of my tether and can't live like this anymore, I want to feel normal as I feel like the only woman in the world to have no mates and it'a embarrassing.

I don't have any advice, but I'm also in the same position. I'm very socially awkward, although I never used to be. I'm not sure what's changed (I guess maybe having a baby at the start of lockdown didn't help). But I've always been the one that gets left out of things. Before I had my first child, I worked in a very close team and considered us all to be good friends. A few of us actually got pregnant around the same time, and I was excited at the thought of having 'mum' friends. We had a WhatsApp group where we would all chat about our babies, but I saw on social media that some of them would meet up, and discovered that there must have been another group chat that I wasn't part of. It really hurt me.

I take my youngest to a music class once a week, but all of the mums there are already friends, and I find myself sitting alone every week. No one ever sits next to me. I don't think I am unapproachable and always smile if someone makes eye contact, but it never leads anywhere. I don't really have the confidence to approach others due to being left out in the past, but I do try. It's only ever small talk.

I doubt you live anywhere near me as I'm in Scotland, but I would have happily offered to meet up for a coffee.

Wow yes, exactly the same thing I am going through, it is a shame as being in the same position is a good starting point. It is annoying how so many women have cliques and just arent interested in anyone new, I don't understand that at all, the more the merrier right?

I am used to making friends as I have moved around a lot, and am, in fact, a recent immigrant to the UK. I don't have any uni friends, work friends or family here. I am completely alone but have managed to make a few friends.

Your interests would not deter me. Nothing weird about them.

My top tips are:
seek out other people interested in making friends
don't worry about what people think of you. They are mostly thinking only of themselves
join everything you can to begin with: book clubs, choir, walking groups.
make the first move. invite someone for coffee or to an exhibition or some type of kiddie event

I love art myself and have joined a group which goes to museums in London. Anything like that near you?