MILs Sure this has probably been done before. . . . . .

[magicfarawaytree]

If you could give your best friend advice on how to be the best mil she could be - what you tell her?

Dont offer an opinion unless asked.

You came first for many years with your son/daughter now it is time for their spouse/children to come first.

Their children - their rules.

Even if you cant stand the sight of your childs partner find a way to be pleasant.

Build other relationships and interests so that you are not intrusive and do not feel the loss of your position in your childs life so sharply.

Never make any ultimatums regarding grandchildren because the Mum will ALWAYS win.

My experience has shown me that since my MIL stopped being a bossy cow and started doing all of the above I am much more willing for her to have my children to stay without my beady eye on her. Everyone is much happier.

always stay in a B&B, never her home
always wait to be invited, don't invite yourself
don't book yourself into a hotel for a week around her due date without asking
don't buy everything Woolworths has to offer for newborns as soon as you find out you are about to have a grandchild

it sounds like such common sense doesnt it.

It's only your business if you are asked for an opinion, and even then, opinions can be taken the wrong way - so be careful.

NEVER comment on how clean a house is, or compare the children to other children you know

Tell the D/SIL that they are doing a brilliant job

If you are looking after hte children, make sure you ask if there is anything in particular that they would like you to do - i.e. a certain routine etc.

Don't do your 'own thing' - it's their baby, their rules