Advice for horrible situation

[MorrisDesign]

I think I am being psychologically abused by someone I've been seeing on off for the last few months. All the signs of narcisstic abuse from almost day one, looking back. Lovebombing, stonewalling, gaslighting, deflection, etc

After seeing him at the weekend, the red flags are now waving right in front of me. I think I have become trauma bonded and need to somehow break free from it as I know I'm no longer blind to it and it will only get worse.

I messaged him last night and he did not reply, again, so I left it a few hours to say let's call it a day, that's that. He doesn't care

Here are some of the red flags:

We hadn't seen eachother for a while when we bumped into one another at the pub at the weekend. He followed me around all night. We ended up getting drunk and having sex. Just about everything he said to me was a backhanded insult and I felt the need to keep sticking up for myself.

I have since become aware that he has orchestrated a smear campaign against me in the area we live - eg. sharing explicit sex related information about our time together, telling people I went home with a man from the pub when I did not, that I used drugs (which I do not do!)

Triangulation with women - social media.

Vile, false accusations against a good friend of mine. She is still unaware of this, but I will have to share this with her as there are linked business interests with his family.

Planting his personal belongings on me (sentimental items).

Talking about cruelty to animals.

Hinting at using prostitutes.

Friends/acquaintances reporting back to him of my whereabouts and activities - stalking/spying.

Silent treatment.

On top of this, I'm struggling a bit in other areas of my life. The primary one being unrelated to the abuse and in fact out of my control.  My mental health is rock bottom as we live in close proximity and I feel I can't get away from him and his poison. I am a caring, loving person which is why I was a great target for this, I thought could help him. He won't ever change and it is now obvious that this abuse is why his previous relationships ended.

I needn't have messaged him at all yesterday. He is seriously fucked up in the head and I expect he has/ will further use our interaction this weekend in some way to try manipulate me and spread more lies.

I'm thinking of requesting a disclosure from Clare's Law. I don't know what else I can do?

If he's stalked you in the past, go to the police at the first sniff of him starting again.

If his tactics work on you and you go back, then he will keep doing it. Getting rid requires you standing firm and getting the authorities involved if necessary.

There has more stalking and smearing. Other people are aware of this.

And what are you going to do then, @MorrisDesign ?

I cannot put that on here

I work at womens aid..ring us or go on live chat on website. I wouldn't do Clares law tbh...if you are going to get out of this relationship...you are still trying to keep him if you have thought of doing this... also a lot slip through net so might not have a record.
Ring us... and also look at the freedom programme xx

Block him and move on. You've only been dating a few months!

He sounds deranged, ring Women’s Aid as suggested by Loubelle70. I do think you need to take action against him though, he can’t be allowed to get away with running a smear campaign against you and as for the flying monkeys that needs addressing. Your first point of call Women’s Aid. See what they say/advise and whether any action can be taken by the police. As a precaution if you haven’t already think about CCTV/Ring. You need to be in control from now onwards. You can do this don’t doubt yourself.

On your person carry a self defence spray, we each carry Farb Gel in my family. It’s something everyone in my family carry men & women. Why? It disables the attacker for 10 mins and leaves a red stain on their person which lasts a few days & they will easily stand out from the crowd. Sorry I should have mentioned you can buy from Amazon.

Just ghost him from now on no more texts saying you are done with him & why, block him on absolutely everything! If he rings you from another number do not engage just hang up every single time. He can’t reel you in if you do not engage. If he doesn’t get the hint report him every single time. Can you change your number? Then you control who gets your number and it should only be people you trust implicitly.

if I were you don’t go to any place he might be or he would expect you to be. Don’t allow yourself to be anywhere where he can get to you. You need to break the cycle and quickly.

it sounds like he has done this before and it may well prove invaluable to find this out. You do need to know this.

i am here anytime if you need to speak. Stay strong.

You’ve blocked him on everything …except his phone number.
Not much point to that, is there?
You are in a strong position to stop this, but it sounds like you’re not quite willing to do so.
If you are serious about getting him out of your life, I would text him to say you do not want to see or hear from him any more, and you will be reporting him to the police at the first sign of any harrowing. Then block him.
Work on surrounding yourself with nice, kind people who make you laugh and feel comfortable. Take the advice offered by others on here and start building yourself a shiny new life which brings you joy, not sadness and pain!