Online Cheating?

[RoseBird4]

I have been married to my husband for 5yrs (together 10yrs). We have a 3 year old child.

A few weeks ago I noticed he has been messaging a woman over Facebook (I can see his phone over his shoulder) and this woman has been tagging him in things like restaurants or places they should go to. I questioned him and he said it's nothing a someone from work.

A couple days ago the same woman messaged me with screenshots of their conversations. They are flirtatious and of a sexual nature. I don't think they have met yet and in the messages he mentions me and our child. She said she feels bad and wants to tell him what he is Upto...

I am going to confront him but..... Am I wrong for classing this as online cheating? I cannot trust him since looking at these messages. I feel sick and confused.

Thanks

He's married to you and sexting/flirting with another woman behind your back without your knowledge of course it's cheating. I suggest you talk to him before they do meet up

It's cheating in my book.

You don't sext with someone unless you want to get naked with them imo.

Clearly you didn't marry him for his intelligence. What a dumbass mentioning his wife and children to the woman he's trying to bone, although thank goodness he did and she had some integrity (in the end at least).

I wouldn't even class this as "online" cheating, it's just cheating plain and simple. Don't let him diminish what he's done by saying "we haven't met in person, it was just fantasy, it's no different from porn" or any other horse crap men caught with their virtual dicks out will spout. He's cheated on you. Be furious, you should be.

Yes, I’d class that as cheating.

Sorry OP this has probably come as a shock to you. Take a breath i think you know it's cheating and don't want to be gas-lit by him saying it's not as they have never met. Think you should read some internet sites about what constitutes cheating and be ready for him rather than go in all guns blazing. Also think how YOU feel about this situation what do you want to do next after he denies or admits it.

Well, obviously she thought they were going to meet to be tagging him like that.

So is it OK for a married man to chase someone else and plan to meet, with sex clearly on the table? I'd say no.

He'll come out with all sorts of shit to minimise it, but seems like it would be going somewhere if she hadn't ratted him out.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and reply.

I fully expect him to try and worm his way out of this and somehow try to turn it onto me... How, I don't know. He never takes accountability for anything. The intent is there. One of the comments was that he will tire her out in bed. He also sent a photo of himself in bed (photo of his face).

Immediately I went off him after seeing these messages.

Get rid, he’s only going to gas light you and turn it on you, then do it again in 6 months time.

@Fordmondeo, you should go to the Start Thread button on top right and post your own thread for help. Also, I would change the OM’s name if that is indeed his real name.

As for your Partner, there is plenty going on if she is chatting with this married OM and is receiving or exchanging sexual videos/chats/photos. That is infidelity and disloyalty. She is taking you for a fool by claiming ‘there’s nothing going on’.

Don’t tolerate this, @RoseBird4. Tell your Partner that if she wants to keep her relationship with you, she will (1) cut off OM immediately (2) come clean with the full story of her cheating and (3) provide open access to all of her devices. You will need to decide if you want to end things with her.

I just saw your latest post. OM is a coach. Did you and your Partner already know him? I would consider telling his Wife.

Did she meet him on a dating site, @Fordmondeo?

Start your own thread and you will receive a lot of support. 🙂

Yes, he is using her for sexual thrills and ego boosts, but by responding she is using him for boosts, and is damaging both her family and his.

She has a responsibility to protect her fidelity to you, but by participating in this sleaze she is cheating and trashing your family.

@Fordmondeo, I wrongly addressed @RoseBird4 instead of you in my longer post above.

Oh this is awful. You must feel terrible. Have things been ok until this point?