Me again....I miss what I thought we had...

[Onehouratatime]

Hi all
Done some previous posts about my ex and the situation. Basically our whole relationship was a lie.....he wasn't who I thought he was his morals and his values were not what I thought they were and he isn't a nice man.

But a year on (nearlly) and I'm still reeling about it all. I miss him being around, I miss what I thought we had, I miss having his son here, I miss the future we had discussed and the plans we had made etc etc...don't miss him as he was very boring actually and didn't really pay much attention to me other than sex but I miss the little things...does that make sense?

I'm still so hurt by what he did. I'm so confused by it all. I trusted him and he ruined it all and I'm just so sad...

Allow yourself to grieve for the life you had and the life you imagined you would have. Let it out.

I just feel so bitter @chaticat he faked himself for the whole time....just feels awful... thank you for responding x

I know how you feel, op. I feel like my whole marriage was one big lie. He was not the man i thought he was. It’s very painful to feel I wasted 25 years on a cheating liar. I am still angry about it, but I know that only hurts me, not him, so I focus on the future.

@Purplecatshopaholic its hard though isn't it...when you gave all of you and they gave you a lie....I'm with you op I'm sorry...why do they do it xx

I feel the same as you and wasted 2 yrs with someone I gave everything to. I know it wasn't me that wasn't enough though, he has issues I can't even fix!

I felt similar after ending my last relationship. I couldn’t get over the version of him who was just amazing and everything I’d wanted. Even though there was another side to him that was harmful and toxic. 10 months later I was still struggling, feeling really sad about him and I knew it wasn’t right. I booked in to speak to a counsellor and 5 sessions later I’m cured 😂 she has really helped me move on. If you feel stuck and it’s not getting better then I’d recommend speaking to a counsellor.
Hope it gets better for you.

@Nosierosi ill do that. Thank you so much I'm sorry you had similar

@Orchidlie22 I'm sorry op it's a horrible situation and people use people when all we want is happiness

It's rubbish isn't it. Doesn't help when you come across pictures of fun things that you did. I get upset, then remind myself of what an absolute 🔧he was at the end. Funny how the Mr Nice guy disappears when you are no longer useful to them.
On the positive someone else can have their drama's when we are enjoying ourselves doing exactly what we want 🤗

You miss having a person though. Not that particular person (who was a lie). It's a different life when you're in a couple.

Time is a healer

I second seeing a counsellor OP. Sharing your feelings of loss and disappointment and finding ways to manage those intrusive thoughts can really help you to heal and move on.

He was boring, and he lied about who he was, so even his redeeming qualities were probably lies. I learned the hard way that different moral values doesn’t work out. Sex connects people especially when it’s good, and shared things like loving his son. A year isn’t that long, especially if he really screwed your head up with the lies, and if the feelings you had for him were real. It doesn’t make him a good fit for you though. You can do better