Me ‘M27’ discussed with my gf ‘F25’ who many people we've slept with. She didn’t seem pleased with my result

[KookyMaker]

We've been together now for 6 months + and we had a conversation recently about how many people we've slept with. I was her first which she didn't tell me which got me by surprise as I wasn’t aware of it. When I told her that I only slept with 1 person before her whilst I have been in a few relationships in the past I still only had slept with 1 person she seemed surprised but more like disappointed surprised by how low it was. She said oh i thought yours would be allot higher.

I thought she would be quite happy that it had only been 1 since I had chosen to be careful with who I sleep with considering a majority of my guy mates body count is 10+ at our age.

I did tell her that it seemed like you are disappointed with it but then she gave the oh no I respect that you've only been with 1 person and I am pleased.. it felt more like she was just saying that only because I asked about it and this wasn't her first response, didn't feel like an honest answer abit like a cop out answer.

My question is, do women find a guy who hasn't slept with many women unattractive? I've had multiple opportunities to mess around but I chosen not to as for me those aren't my values and morals. Seems like this choice might come off unappreciated and unattractive now.
Any thoughts on this?

I think the only time it would bother me would be a huge number, but that would be more paranoid that they were comparing. Otherwise I’d think I’d just go ‘oh’- as in fine!!!

Why would you even have this conversation? It never ends well.

oh dear, this sort of conversation never goes well, regardless of number.

Body count is so awful! What's wrong with men or women I've slept with?

You say you didn’t want to mess around because of your ‘values’ and ‘morals’, suggesting that people who have sex outside of relationships are doing something wrong morally?

If two consenting adults chose to sleep with each other then it’s no one’s business and it doesn’t make you somehow superior because you chose not to. We don’t live in 1824!

She’s probably more annoyed at your holier than thow and judgmental attitude!

What matters is sensitivity to your partner. You can learn together. You need to be open to learning your way round, though.

There isn't an answer she would be happy with, these are the kind of conversations that only lead to bad feeling.

She is a bit upset as it implies the person you slept with was special in some way, so she's a bit jealous. That's all.

These conversations never go well.

What does it matter? Asking someone how many times they have been to Italy might be vaguely interesting. Sexual partners is too potentially fraught.

Presumably you haven't made this decision just to be 'attractive' or 'appreciated' but because it was important to you so it doesn't matter what she thinks.

If she wants to be with someone that is more experienced then that is her choice but it sounds more like she made a simple response and your own insecurities have fed how you are now feeling.

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you are right

One sounds worse than a hundred to some women. It means that one woman (?) is special and that you would be comparing. It's not entirely logical but it is how some women would think.

I wouldn't be judging the number of partners but every person is different. It's not unattractive but it might sound alarms the older you are as it could indicate sexual issues or no long term relationships. These days are different lots of partners are highly concerned of porn addiction/erectile dysfunction/ low relational skills.

If you find yourself having this conversation again at some point in the future with a different girlfriend - don't. Draw a discrete veil over your previous relationships, it's your private information.

I don't think anyone else can possibly know what your girlfriend thinks but perhaps she likes the idea of a man with experience. What I find weird is that she never told you that the first time you had sex was her first time ever, just seems that is something you would mention.

Women don't all think the same. We all have different thoughts and personalities. The best thing is probably to ask her.

Oh god🙄 why do people persist in having these conversations. Regardless of the number its never a happy outcome.

It is what it is though. Different people feel differently. Personally I'd prefer someone who'd had less partners than hot dinners.

I wouldn’t take it that it means she finds you unattractive etc etc.

Everyones right in so far as these conversations are difficult and perhaps she either feels jealous or maybe she thinks it is more but you’ve only said 1 not to hurt her feelings.

Things are rarely about what people say. Try and read their actions, if she is still affectionate and putting the effort in then you haven’t got any issues to worry about, and vice Verda just make sure you still put in the same level of effort, affection etc.

Honestly I’d find the whole conversation unattractive. I am not super bothered when people ask me, but I’ve never asked a man because frankly I don’t want to know what you’ve been up to before me as long as you don’t have an untreated STD.

I've had multiple opportunities to mess around but I chosen not to as for me those aren't my values and morals

This attitude is deeply unsexy

Had same discussion in early days of relationship, initiated by partner not me, told me she had sex to keep her boyfriends, told her I’d only had sex with her, she’s never believed me , didn’t actually do anything for our relationship other than to always make me feel jealous, even though it happened before we met, it’s not a useful conversation

Body count. Barf.

I wouldn’t care how many people that you’ve slept but the fact that you use the term “body count” definitely gives me the ick!

If she didn't want an honest answer then she shouldn't have asked the question. Her liking or not liking your answer is not your problem. All you can do is be honest. I'd stop over thinking it, if she doesn't like it for whatever reason then that's her problem.