FIL being pushy

[Jajoba]

I have a good relationship with my FIL and I do like him, before I begin. I am also extremely grateful to anyone and everyone who offers help. However FILs offers are becoming out of hand.
initially it was an offer to babysit so we could go on a date. We thanked him and said we’ll let him know when/if is suitable. Our youngest is a baby and I’m not comfortable with leaving him just yet, we said when he’s older we’d be happy for him to babysit etc.
He then began offering us furniture from his home which we didn’t need or want. Again we thanked him and said we don’t need it. He came to visit us and brought said items anyway, “just in case”
We recently moved house and we get daily messages stating he will come and decorate or fix xyz. We thank him but tell him we will be doing it or so and so will be. He then turns up with a screwdriver wanting to change plug sockets!?
He continues to push. It’s making me very uncomfortable that he never accepts no and constantly pushes the boundaries.
I went through PND which I didn’t share with family, I struggled a lot mentally and all family imposed during this time making me feel worse. I’ve recently started some new anti depressants which are making me feel unwell and I just want some peace from family for the moment. He still won’t accept we need time alone.
DP has told his dad several times we will let him know if and when we need his help with anything until then we’ll be fine. But he doesn’t understand and will text or phone daily asking to do certain things in the house or take the baby for a walk.
I know it makes me sound quite ungrateful as most parents would love a break and a babysitter to hand, but right now we’re happy as we are and his intrusion is getting too much. Without being rude I don’t know what else we can do to get him off our backs.
He’s early 60s, in good health, not lonely by any means and we see him regularly as it is.
Can anyone offer advice please?

What happened when he bought the furniture round?

and when he turned up with a screwdriver to change plug sockets?

OP you sound normal.

Do you think a sit down with the FIL and explain this to him face to face will help?

What is going on in FIL life?

If someone constantly pushes to “help”when you’ve repeatedly said no thanks, it’s very clear that it’s something that they want rather than an unselfish offer to do something you want or need.
It’s something your dh needs to deal with though. He needs to be firmer with his father. If he doesn’t put a stop to this, you’ll be one of those MN posters tearing their hair out because their parents or in-laws turn up and interfere with their houses at will. But “managing” FIL is DH’s job not yours.

It's time to put your bloody foot down and tell your husband to rein his father in now or you're going to have to.

Nicey nicey isn't cutting it, so you're going to have to be very stern, tell him there will be consequences if he continues to be so disrespectful, and then you have to follow through with those consequences.

You have to put a stop to this, right now.

"DP has told his dad several times we will let him know if and when we need his help with anything until then we’ll be fine. But he doesn’t understand and will text or phone daily asking to do certain things in the house or take the baby for a walk."

Your FIL obviously hears 'will let him know' as 'Yes, just not sure when'. So stop saying that in response to his offers, and respond with a plain and unequivocal NO.

No, we want to do this ourselves.

No, I've already got this in hand.

No, We don't have the space for your furniture.

No.

Thanks everyone, we definitely need to be firmer with our “no thanks”, we just didn’t want to upset him and come across as ungrateful but now it’s so regular it’s becoming a nuisance more than a kind offer.
We refused the furniture so he took it home. And we didn’t need plug sockets replacing so we said they’re fine as they are and he listened.
It seems face to face he reels it in but not before constantly pushing it on us.
He’s a busy man with 2 businesses and other children who visit him regularly, but he seems to have pinpointed us, he doesn’t do it to DP siblings.
I don’t enjoy his company anymore and I’m always planning excuses for any suggestions he makes, ahead of visiting him as it’s usually ott such as planning a last minute fortnight away not considering we need to book time from work and our eldest with school.
The time DP did say no (when he said he was going to buy a cot and buggy to keep at his house for when he had our children for weekends) made no difference sadly. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t feel ready for anyone to have my children at the moment and the pushing has made me never want to allow it.

Do your partner's siblings have children?